The Token Fat Pledge

Posted on 10 August 2010

Every pledge class comes in all shapes, ages and sizes. While fall classes are always larger than spring classes (number-wise), there will always be a token chubster in each pledge class. I don’t care if a fraternity has a reputation for being skinny, good-looking and athletic, every pledge class needs its whale. The importance of such a pledge goes beyond words. As a fellow pledge, you need someone to look up to. The fat pledge is the guy whom every other pledge thinks to himself (or sometimes even says out loud)… “If he can do it, then fuck, so can I.” And most of the time the fat pledge has a sense of humor. There’s nothing better than a fat kid making fun of himself. It keeps the spirits high. During pledgeship, this is key. To add on to the value of having the token fat pledge in your pledge class, consider his ability to take down a keg. With beer and alcohol constantly being funneled down your throat, it helps to have a guy who can put a dent in the keg. If you’re that fat pledge reading this, I tip my hat to you sir. Your kind contributed to my successful completion of pledgeship. God Bless You.

No matter how shitty the task, if the fat kid can do it, so can anybody else. Push-ups? No problem. Ice bath? Eating contest? Well wait, there are some instances when the fat boy’s pledgeship is made easier. You’ll definitely get the brothers who have a pinch of sympathy for the fellow. They might get pulled out of Hell Week for a bit, or atleast given a break from the endless workouts. And an extra layer of warmth could come in handy on a few occasions. But hey, let the point be made— the fat pledge plays a symbolic role in pledgeship.

When you’re a brother, nothing makes you laugh harder than a chubby freshman running around the house in a suit and tie. With a few extra pounds to flop up and down, the chubster makes every activity that much more exciting to watch. And when a skinny pledge bitches about his situation, all you have to do is mention Tubby, and how hard he has it. It’s impossible to argue. In this day in age, there is no longer a token black pledge. Fraternities are usually separated by color (race), as weird as that is. Having a solitary black pledge does not happen these days. It’s all about the token fat pledge. Either way, a pledge should never bitch in the first place. Life sucks during pledgeship— get used to it.

It’s not hazing. It’s brotherhood.

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3 Responses to “The Token Fat Pledge”

  1. PledgeMaster says:

    Comment all you’d like. If you’re feeling generous, submit a hazing story for consideration. You’ll stay anonymous, and your story might end up as the next post of the PledgeMaster.

  2. spring pledge baby says:

    had a token fat guy and he was awesome, only reason i stayed. he smoked everyday and would crack me up, happies guy i know any stupid pledge thing done to us he would laugh or smile, couldnt help but keep going with a guy like that ha

  3. They Call Me Jerry says:

    Kids today are so damn fat. I cannot imagine a pledge class without a fat guy. I graduated in 1992. Our fattest pledge was just twenty pounds overweight. One year, we had a pledge who was just ten pounds overweight and told him that he had to be the “fat guy.” He was good about it.

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