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PledgeMaster’s Advice: When should I pledge?

Posted on 30 January 2011

True frat-stars don’t think twice about this one. When a chick asks if you want to stick it in her ass, do you hesitate? No, you jump in that shit (literally). Too much? Anyways, you get the point. If the opportunity presents itself to fuck the girl of your dreams, do you twiddle your thumbs? Absolutely not. Becoming apart of the greatest Brotherhood known to mankind rivals that of any slampiece out there, and there’s no point in hesitating. On the other spectrum, you might just have a reason to think for a second. Let’s take a look at the common dilemma between rushing spring or fall, and when exactly you should pledge when you’re in college. All hardass comments aside, here’s the best advice…

So, when should you pledge? Every guy entertains his own story and background, which makes the entire answer relative to who you are. The basics of pledgeship are universal: It’s going to suck, and it’s going to take up a shit ton of your time. There’s usually a toss-up as to whether you should wait a semester to pledge, or jump right in. In my opinion, you’ve got to know your limits, and be honest with yourself. Here’s an easy side-by-side guide for all incoming freshman. Not to down on spring pledges, but there is definitely a difference. This only applies to first year college guys entering the greatest four years of their life:

Social Life:

Fall pledges entertain “pledge socials” with sororities. The new members of both fraternities and sororities join forces for a quality orgy. You meet the chicks in your grade, and begin to develop a quality list of fuck-buddies from day one. On the other hand, spring pledges don’t have pledge socials. Sororities usually rush in the fall, and not in the spring. There’s no new sorority girls to meet…

GPA:

Spring pledges get the thumbs up. The spring semester will be your second semester in college. You’ll know what you’re doing, and hopefully you haven’t fucked up your GPA already. Spring guys know how classes work, and how to manage their time. With fall being football season and your first semester of college, you won’t know what to do with yourself. Fall pledges have trouble managing their grades, time and pledging. Peace out GPA.

Partying:

Fall edges out spring due to the start of the school-year. Fall pledges meet girls first, and never look back. While both semesters have the same kick-ass parties, fall has weekends with football.

Sex-Life:

Fall pledges get first dibs on the incoming freshman. A girl is way more down to fuck with a guy she met early on, as opposed to a guy she met in the second semester. Sorry spring, it’s a kick in the nuts once again.

Weather:

Who the fuck cares about the weather? During pledgeship, the weather means everything. The warmer, the better. Try pledging in the snow… it makes hazing ten times as easy for the brotherhood. Depending on where you’re at, the warmer climate gets the thumbs up. For the most part, the spring semester is colder with the months between January and March. Once again, Fall gets the nod.

Pleasing the Parents:

They’re paying for it, so you’ve got to please ‘em. Most parents want their kids to keep their grades, not fuck up and atleast enjoy themselves. What does that mean? Don’t go Greek for atleast a semester. Yea, it’s a buzzkill. But hey, doing what they say can go a long way down the line. Spring wins…

Long-Run:

If you’re pledging a fraternity, then you win no matter what. No matter spring or fall, you just made the best decision of you life.

If you haven’t got a spec of responsibility in you (which is oh so respectable in my eyes), then chill out for a semester. Get a feel for college, and pledge in the spring. There are a ton of advantages to this, none being social (unfortunately). While your grades and parents will commend you, your social life will suffer. No pussy for you my friend. Yet, in the long run, this might be your best option.

On the other hand, if you’re a hardcore frat-star-to-be, then fall is the way to go. Fall pledges outnumber spring pledges, and are seen as the more devoted members of the brotherhood. If you’re in incoming freshman, pledging in the fall can be a slap in the face. It’s a rather unwelcoming entrance into college, and many can’t handle the workload.

Seriously, it’s all about knowing yourself. If you’re an alcoholic (congratulations by the way), you might want to ease your way into college by taking a semester off. If you’re responsible and can handle the extra workload, pledge fall. So there you have it, welcome to the responsible advice of the PledgeMaster. It’s a rarity, and by no means am I commending those who take the less partying path. But let’s face it, the brotherhood needs its overachievers to lead the way at one point or another.


It’s not hazing. It’s brotherhood.


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5 Responses to “PledgeMaster’s Advice: When should I pledge?”

  1. PledgeMaster says:

    Spring? or Fall?

  2. Fall Bro says:

    spring pledges are bitches, it’s all about fall

  3. TEP says:

    fuck that spring is way worse its fucking cold as nuts

  4. fratfratfrat says:

    I had a terrible GPA at the end of my fall pledgeship but I wouldn’t even consider trading the bonds I made, the women I met and the fun I had for a 4.0. When you’re a spring pledge, you’ve got 50 utterly bloodthirsty JI psychopaths who want nothing more in the world than to haze you until you utterly hate your life, not to mention the fact that you have only a handful of guys cleaning a 30,000 square foot house six days a week and DDing every weekend. If possible, always go fall.

  5. Otis Allan Hazebrook says:

    Spring Pledges have to do the same amount of work as the fall pledges, with half as many people, and more individualized attention from the brothers (bad thing)

    Fall pledges have a cakewalk.


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