The Overachieving Pledge

Posted on 31 August 2010

We all know the little douche-bags who sit in the front row of class or lecture. When the professor cracks a miserable joke, they burst out laughing. They’re fucking annoying, they make us bros look bad, and you want to punch them in the face. This, my friends, is the GDI equivalent to The Overachieving Pledge. Just as every pledge class encompasses a Token Fat Pledge, there will always be the one pledge that goes above and beyond. The dick-sucker, brother-lover, overachieving faggot who makes the rest of the pledge class look like shit. There’s always one, and oh yes, we want to punch him in the face too.

From the very first day of pledgeship, you can tell which guy is going to fill the role. He’s usually a little smarter and slightly more anal than the rest. Yet, there are the occasional frat-stars who are so frat-tastic that pledgeship is a joy to them. But these fired-up pledges are an exception; they have been pardoned. We’re talking about the little bitch that always has his shit memorized, pledge attire perfected, always on time and always smiling. The little fucker just never understands that pledgeship is about unity. You better believe that once you become a brother, your pledge brothers will be your closest friends, allies and happy-hour wingmen. When you need someone to have your back, your pledge brothers will be the first ones there. When that hot slampiece won’t fuck unless it’s a two-on-one with another guy, well, you know where I’m going with this. Bottom-line: Your pledge brothers should mean everything to you. Pledgeship is where you build the relationship and build trust. Don’t be the guy who makes your pledge class look like shit.

In the eyes of the brotherhood, the overachieving pledge is the guy to call when you really need something done. Need a condom in less than ten minutes before she passes out? He’ll be there, with three different kinds to choose from. When getting hazed, he does his pushups the best, recites his frat history the fastest and does it all with the gayest fucking smile known to man. Are his pledge brothers jealous of his talents? FUCK NO. They hate him for what he is.

Now, we must realize that pledgeship is merely a game of survival. And if the overachieving pledge does what he needs to do to survive, then good for him. It’s like that genius in high school that you used to cheat off of for every test. You fucking hate him for how smart he is, but sometimes he was your saving grace. The overachieving pledge might save your ass one day during pledgeship, and he might just cover for you because he’s that insanely devoted. But still, he’s fucking annoying.

The common, unwritten law as a pledge follows one concept: never be the worst, and never be the best. If you’re the worst, you get fucked with most. If you’re the best, you’re second in line to getting fucked with, and, your pledge brothers hate you. Be the pledge that does his shit right, but keeps a distance from perfection. Always be there, but stay hidden. Know your shit, but don’t be perfect. There’s a huge difference between a fired-up pledge, and an overachieving douche-bag. In the end, you’ll all be brothers. This is a pass/fail class, so stop sitting in the front row and sucking-off the professor.

It’s not hazing. It’s brotherhood.


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12 Responses to “The Overachieving Pledge”

  1. Irrelevant says:

    Im all for frat parties and hell i got to ehm all the time, but pledging means youre weak. I don tneed a wingman to go to a bar, Ill walk right in there like im the fukin investor of the spot.

    The only person I trust and will pledge to is myself,.. I dont hold hands with nobody, and dont want nobody hand around my shoulders. Ball-lless fuckers.. Ill stand up for myself and fight without any of my “boys” or “brothers” behind/with me. My feet are built into the ground, and my principles cannot be swayed.

    IM not saying my way of life is for everyone, because it isnt.. But Ill be damned if I ever needed “wingmen”.. My boys and I go home with all sorts of broads, and are always behind each other if shit gets rough, no need to pledge.. This isnt the mafia.. None of you will ever kill someone so stop acting like pledging give you ‘brothers and power’, and no amount of hazing/rape/survival in a cement factory will prove that.

    Man this shit gets me mad

  2. FratBro says:

    Irrelevant you sir are an idiot!!!
    This article is taking about Pledging a Fraternity. being their for your pledge bros. Its not saying one MUST have a wingman when going to the bars, its implying the bound of pledge bros is SOO great that they are the ones you will go drinking with on the weekends aka your “wingmen”. You dont know the “power” of pledgeship because you havent experienced that is like. Your pledge bros BECOME you best friends in college and thoughout life. They will be the ones standing next to you at your wedding.

  3. Conor says:

    get off this website gdi pos.

  4. Squatch says:

    Oh my God, it’s more GDI scum. Congrats Irrelevant, you’re a no-bid who wants to talk down fraternities, and think that you’re better than them. There’s a reason they run the social scenes on campus, and that’s because it takes a group of guys working together to do anything as impressive as organizing large-scale philanthropy, or, much more importantly, throwing weekly open parties. Pledging makes you some of the best friends you’ll ever have. Furthermore, it teaches you to accept your place, as you’ll eventually have to do anyway in the real world. So go ahead, act like you are “the fukin investor on the spot.” Because, quite honestly, that means nothing down the road.

  5. tom says:

    GDI’s are the most ignorant people on the planet going through life doing what they want with no aim for a greater cause and fuck that guy you can act like your the investor of the spot when, thanks to our brothers, we will be the real investor of that spot

  6. Guy says:

    GET FUCKED IRRELEVANT

  7. irrelevant is a douche says:

    if youve never pledged a frat yourself, and youre saying frats are for pussies, you are the biggest faggot on earth. you have no idea what kind of shit we had to go through.

  8. gdi says:

    Fuck yall dude. Man my friends told me the shit they went through to be in a frat. Stuff that I would beat a man’s ass for doing to me. If yall need friends that bad you’re sad man. Il keep my pride but not all of them are bad still wanting to rush but if it come down to degrading myself to be in a brotherhood the go fuck yourselfs!

  9. pussy.. says:

    the whole point of pledgeship is to degrade a person so looks like youll always he a gdi

  10. Svend says:

    What happens when the Token Fat Pledge overcompensates by becoming the overachiever, too?

  11. PledgeMaster says:

    Svend: In that case, he’s the perfect pledge (in my opinion).

  12. Teddy Broosevelt says:

    Svend, that was me in a nutshell.


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