For every hero, there lies a villain. For every frat-star, there lies a GDI. Let’s delve into a vocabulary lesson. GDI: God Damn Independent. For those in college who choose to live a life of solitary confinement, a meager contact list and ice cream socials, this lifestyle is for you. They forgo the opportunity of fraternity stardom, quite possibly the worst decision of one’s life. GDI’s are the nerds of the university, those who make the educational institution so respectable. They’re a parent’s dream-child. No alcohol, no partying and no enjoyment of life whatsoever. When they leave college, their footprint is as valuable as Bernie Madoff’s investments. Fraternity guys hate them. They’re the honorable recipients of our tactful heckling.
Fist off, their attire just isn’t acceptable. I don’t think they’ve ever been introduced to boat shoes and a quality polo shirt. A visor? Hell no. They wear backwards baseball caps and rice picker cones atop their heads. The Greek alphabet is a foreign language to them, and it’s truly unacceptable. For such geniuses, you’d think they would acquire the partying language. They walk around with rolling backpacks and a pencil behind their ears. Yea, they’re probably the one’s who will cure you of cancer one day. But until then, fuck them.
So who cares if a GDI will someday be my boss? I’m planning on winning the lottery anyways. College gives you 4 years of experimentation and unlimited chances. I’d rather blow 8 out of my 9 lives on partying, rather than stuffing my head into a book for 4 years straight. Everyone finds a job eventually, and luck usually plays the largest role in making it big. Don’t even argue that one.
Top 3 Reasons Why Fraternity Guys Hate GDI’s:
3) At times, they make us look bad. Their flawless GPA’s and lack of arrests are just unacceptable. They stand firm as model students. But hey, we all need to be well rounded. Yet, they’re obviously lacking in the partying category.
2) Their attire defames southern class. Unless you’re joining the Jersey Shore frat, there lies an inherent need for Polos, boat shoes and a visor. It’s a way of life. Wearing tight jeans and a math-club t-shirt… need I say more?
1) They run the university. Student government oozes independents. They devote their lives to campaigning, and making life tough for Greeks. They preach change, and suck off the administration while they’re at it. They shut down our parties and make us jump through hoops. Just not cool.
Every GDI would benefit from a life within the brotherhood. A dose of pledgeship would whip them into shape, and most of all, turn them into the ideal fraternity guy.
It’s not hazing. It’s brotherhood.