Courtesy of CNN:

 

(CNN) – Florida authorities have brought felony charges against 13 people in what they called the hazing death of Florida A&M University drum major Robert Champion, a prosecutor announced Wednesday.

“Robert Champion died as a result of being beaten,” State Attorney Lawson Lamar said. “His death is not linked to one sole strike but is attributed to multiple blows.”

Joyce Dawley, the head of the Florida Department of Law Enforcement’s Orlando division, said one person was in custody and one was being sought out of state. Sheriff’s deputies and the FDLE were looking for the other 11 within Florida, she said.

The 13 face felony hazing charges. There were also 20 misdemeanor charges filed in the case, but it was not immediately clear how those specifically applied to the suspects.

Champion collapsed in Orlando on the bus, which was carrying members of FAMU’s Marching 100 after a November football game that included a halftime performance by the group.

Medical examiners ruled his death a homicide, saying he died “within an hour of a hazing incident during which he suffered multiple blunt trauma blows to his body.”

“This is a homicide by hazing,” Lamar said.

The case built by investigators “does not support a charge of murder,” Lamar said in Orlando.

But it fits a state law that makes a hazing that results in death a felony with possible prison time up to five years. Under that law, the prosecution “only has to prove two things: participation in hazing and a death.”

“His death is not linked to one single strike,” the prosecutor said of Champion.

Authorities declined to name those charged because most were still being sought.

Parents: Champion a “poster child” for anti-hazing

Some university band members have said Champion, 26, died after taking part in an annual rite of passage called “Crossing Bus C,” an initiation process in which pledges attempt to run down the center aisle from the front door of the bus to the back while being punched, kicked and assaulted by senior members.

Band camp, other clubs suspended

An autopsy found “extensive contusions of his chest, arms, shoulder and back,” as well as “evidence of crushing of areas of subcutaneous fat,” which is the fatty tissue directly under the skin.

Family sues bus company, driver

The death prompted the university board of trustees to approve an anti-hazing plan that includes an independent panel of experts to investigate.

Source: CNN

This goes back to the original story: #75 IN THE NEWS: Marching Band Hazing Death in Florida. Horrid story which deserves justice. Yet, as always, I’m positive those partaking in Champion’s death had no intention of the consequential end result.

It’s not hazing. It’s brotherhood.

Looking from the outside-in, the thought of 100+ college alcoholics living underneath one roof doesn’t exactly ooze professionalism and positivity. Well, that depends on who you’re asking. From a brother’s perspective, living in the house is the true commitment to the brotherhood. You’re willing to live, eat and sleep fraternity life. If you’ve done it, you know what I’m talking about. If you haven’t, you’re fucking missing out. Most fraternity houses are on-campus, decked out with Greek letters, and most likely possessing an award for shittiest building in town. Yet, your house is the key element of #2 rush, and depending on how badass it is, #49 future frat stars will flock to it.

Supervision? Possibly. A house dad or house mom can determine the lifestyle of those living in the house. If you’re lucky enough, the supervising authority is down to party just as much as the brotherhood. On the other hand, a grumpy old bitch is the greatest cock block of all. Depending on how you look at it, living in the house can either be a ticket to pound town, or an anti-sleeping pill. There will be nights when the rave never ends, and other nights when ear plugs and a bottle of Nyquil don’t even come close to letting you sleep. Living in the house is pushing your chips all-in. Yet, if you know what you’re doing, you can reap the benefits. It’s a common-ground for all parties, and if you can’t get laid living in the fraternity house, you mine-as-well come out of the closet.

The Rooms

When it comes down to it, your room will make or break the fraternity, party or potential lay of the night. It’s a wicked combination of acting like you don’t care, while still putting in enough work to make your room impress. If you’ve got room for a bar, then build one. If your beds take up half the room, loft ‘em. If your fridge is lacking, buy a kegerator and step up your fucking game. Depending on what #65 frat castle you live in, there can be designated party rooms. These rooms aren’t just used to shotgun beers and pound sorostitutes. They’re prime location for hazing parties. Do I really need to explain? Most brothers go from dorm-living as freshman to frat-living as sophomores. This usual jump makes the common bathrooms shared by 30 guys somewhat bearable. Yet, if you’re coming from an apartment, the jump is deadly. Say goodbye to privacy.

Plegeship In The House

All-things-hazing revolve around the house. It’s a sanctuary of hazing bliss, and society isn’t allowed in. If the brotherhood is all about #16 Secrecy, then your fraternity house is your castle surrounded by a mote. Pledges dread the house, yet secretly dream about the day that they’ll live in it. From serving dinner every night, to getting hazed in the wee hours of the morning, pledges become one with the house. During pledgeship, the house is spotless. After pledgeship, it becomes a wreck. This isn’t a coincidence. Pledges learn who lives in what room, and what rooms should be avoided at all costs. Dinnertime is servitude, and late-night partying turns the house into the main bus stop for pledge rides.

Dorm rooms? For most top fraternities who know what they’re doing, pledges might not see their dorm room for days. For most pledges, the hike to the house can be daunting, depending on where fraternity row lies. In the north, trudging through a mile of snow to be on time for the sole purpose of getting hazed is irony in itself. For the south, a walk in a full suit in the summer sun is painful enough. The house symbolizes everything that pledges love and hate about the fraternity. Yet, pledges work their asses off for weeks straight to appease the brotherhood, all the while hoping for the opportunity to live like those who haze them.

The Golden Rule

The Golden Rule has and always will stand: treat others the way you wish to be treated. Yet, in fraternities, it’s all about treating others the way you were once treated. Living in the house gives a select few brothers the opportunity to #36 take advantage of pledges more than anybody else. For the most part, your prowess and extent of hazing as a brother is a direct reflection of how hard you were hazed as a pledge. Hazing is a tradition, and it’s passed on from pledge class to pledge class. Those who live in the house teach it best.

It’s not hazing. It’s brotherhood.

- Martin Luther

Not to anyone’s surprise, even the bros of old had it right. Religious Reformer Martin Luther was in fact a proponent of hazing. Truth be told, he’s right. While society likes to bundle fraternities into a nutshell of debauchary, hazing occurs on all levels of life. Whether you’re doing coffee runs for your asshole boss, or getting spanked by your mother at a young age, you’ll be subjected to hazing all your life. Please, tell me if I’m wrong. Remember, #6 Even The Great Tim Tebow Gets Hazed.

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It’s not hazing. It’s brotherhood.

Dig right in:

Long before Andrew Lohse became a pariah at Dartmouth College, he was just another scarily accomplished teenager with lofty ambitions. Five feet 10 with large blue eyes and the kind of sweet-faced demeanor that always earned him a pass, he grew up in the not-quite-rural, not-quite-suburban, decidedly middle-class town of Branchburg, New Jersey, and attended a public school where he made mostly A’s, scored 2190 on his SATs and compiled an exhaustive list of extracurricular activities that included varsity lacrosse, model U.N. (he was president), National Honor Society, band, orchestra, Spanish club, debate and – on weekends – a special pre-college program at the Manhattan School of Music, where he received a degree in jazz bass. He also wrote songs; gigged semiprofessionally at restaurants throughout New York, New Jersey and Connecticut; played drums for a rock band; chased, and conquered, numerous girls; and by his high school graduation, in 2008, had reached the pinnacle of adolescent cool by dating “this really hot skanky cheerleader,” as he puts it.

That fall, he enrolled at Dartmouth, where he had wanted to go for as long as he could remember. His late grandfather, Austin Lohse, had played football and lacrosse for Big Green, and both Andrew and his older brother, Jon, a Dartmouth junior, idolized him as the embodiment of the high-achieving, hard-drinking, fraternal ethos of the Dartmouth Man, or what Lohse calls a “true bro.” A Dartmouth Man is a specific type of creature, and when I ask Lohse what constitutes true bro-ness, he provides an idealized portrait of white-male privilege: “good-looking, preppy, charismatic, excellent at cocktail parties, masculine, intelligent, wealthy (or soon to become so), a little bit rough around the edges” – not, in other words, a “douchey, superpolished Yalie.”

A true bro, Lohse adds, can also drink inhuman amounts of beer, vomit profusely and keep on going, and perform a number of other hard-partying feats – Dartmouth provided the real-life inspiration for Animal House – that most people, including virtually all of Lohse’s high school friends, would find astounding. This, like the high salaries that Dartmouth graduates command – the sixth-highest in the country, according to the most recent estimates – is a point of pride. “We win,” is how one of Lohse’s former buddies puts it.

On January 25th, Andrew Lohse took a major detour from the winning streak he’d been on for most of his life when, breaking with the Dartmouth code of omertà, he detailed some of the choicest bits of his college experience in an op-ed for the student paper The Dartmouth. “I was a member of a fraternity that asked pledges, in order to become a brother, to: swim in a kiddie pool of vomit, urine, fecal matter, semen and rotten food products; eat omelets made of vomit; chug cups of vinegar, which in one case caused a pledge to vomit blood; drink beer poured down fellow pledges’ ass cracks… among other abuses,” he wrote. He accused Dartmouth’s storied Greek system – 17 fraternities, 11 sororities and three coed houses, to which roughly half of the student body belongs – of perpetuating a culture of “pervasive hazing, substance abuse and sexual assault,” as well as an “intoxicating nihilism” that dominates campus social life. “One of the things I’ve learned at Dartmouth – one thing that sets a psychological precedent for many Dartmouth men – is that good people can do awful things to one another for absolutely no reason,” he said. “Fraternity life is at the core of the college’s human and cultural dysfunctions.” Lohse concluded by recommending that Dartmouth overhaul its Greek system, and perhaps get rid of fraternities entirely.

This did not go over well. At a college where two-thirds of the upperclassmen are members of Greek houses, fraternities essentially control the social life on campus. To criticize Dartmouth’s frats, which date back more than 150 years, is tantamount to criticizing Dartmouth itself, the smallest and most insular school in the Ivy League. Nestled on a picturesque campus in tiny Hanover, New Hampshire, the college has produced a long list of celebrated alumni – among them two Treasury secretaries (Timothy Geithner, ’83, and Henry Paulson Jr., ’68), a Labor secretary (Robert Reich, ’68) and a hefty sampling of the one percent (including the CEOs of GE, eBay and Freddie Mac, and the former chairman of the Carlyle Group). Many of these titans of industry are products of the fraternity culture: Billionaire hedge-fund manager Stephen Mandel, who chairs Dartmouth’s board of trustees, was a brother in Psi Upsilon, the oldest fraternity on campus. Jeffery Immelt, the CEO of GE, was a Phi Delt, as were a number of other prominent trustees, among them Morgan Stanley senior adviser R. Bradford Evans, billionaire oilman Trevor Rees-Jones and venture capitalist William W. Helman IV. Hank Paulson belonged to Lohse’s fraternity, Sigma Alpha Epsilon, or SAE.

In response to Lohse’s op-ed, the Dartmouth community let loose a torrent of vitriol against him on The Dartmouth‘s website. Lohse, it was decided, was “disgruntled” and a “criminal.” His “blanket and bitter portrayal of the Greek system” was not only false, complained one alumnus, “but offensive to tens of thousands of Dartmouth alumni who cherished the memories of their fraternities.” Another alumnus put it this way in a mock letter to a human-resources manager: “Dear Hiring Manager, do yourself a favor: Don’t hire Andrew Lohse… He will bring disgrace to your institution, just as he did when he embarrassed Dartmouth and SAE.” The consensus, as another alum put it: “If you don’t want to be initiated, don’t pledge.”

Though two of Lohse’s SAE brothers have confirmed his allegations are generally on the mark, the fraternity has turned on Lohse, portraying him as a calculating fabulist who bought into the Greek system wholeheartedly and then turned against it out of sheer vindictiveness. In a letter to Rolling Stone, SAE’s lawyer, Harvey Silverglate, labeled some of Lohse’s most extreme allegations “demonstrably untrue” and compared Lohse to the stripper who falsely accused a number of Duke lacrosse players of raping her in 2006. “Lohse is… a seemingly unstable individual,” Silverglate wrote, “with a very poor reputation for truth-telling and a very big axe to grind.”

This is not the first time that SAE has come under fire for hazing abuses, or the first time the house has closed ranks against an attack: In 2009, a member of the Dartmouth faculty accused the fraternity of making pledges chug milk and vinegar until they threw up. According to Lohse and two other SAE alums, the brothers agreed to deny the charges, and discussed in detail how to respond when questioned by college officials. This “culture of silence,” as some on campus describe it, is both a product of the Greek system’s ethos and the shield that enables it to operate with impunity.

“The fraternities here have a tremendous sense of entitlement – a different entitlement than you find at Harvard or other Ivy League schools,” says Michael Bronski, a Dartmouth professor of women’s and gender studies. “Their members are secure that they have bright futures, and they just don’t care. I actually see the culture as being predicated on hazing. There’s a level of violence at the heart of it that would be completely unacceptable anywhere else, but here, it’s just the way things are.”

Not so long ago, hazing was viewed at many universities as nothing but pranks, which deans might have privately deplored but nonetheless tolerated. Today, hazing is illegal in 44 states, including New Hampshire – and many colleges have aggressively cracked down on fraternity abuses. Those that failed to do so have increasingly found themselves on the wrong side of the law. Last spring, Yale became the subject of a federal Title IX investigation after a group of 16 current and former students accused the school of creating a “hostile environment” for women, citing a prank in which the pledges of Delta Kappa Epsilon, the same fraternity that boasted both Bush presidents as members, paraded outside the Yale campus chanting, “No means yes! Yes means anal!” Only a few months earlier, in February 2011, a 19-year-old Cornell sophomore died of alcohol poisoning after taking part in an SAE hazing ritual. In response, the boy’s mother filed a $25 million lawsuit against SAE, Cornell shuttered its chapter, and the president of the university directed the college’s Greek organizations to end the pledging process, effective fall 2012.

Alarmed by the skyrocketing rate of binge drinking, which studies show is nearly twice as high among fraternity residents, a growing number of colleges have opted to kick frats off campus or do away with them altogether. Williams College was the first to shutter its fraternities, in the 1960s, and many others have since followed suit, including Amherst, Bowdoin, Colby and Middlebury. But Dartmouth, whose unofficial motto is “Lest the Old Traditions Fail,” has resisted that transformation, just as it has stood fast against many other movements for social and political progress. Dartmouth was one of the last of the Ivies to admit women, in 1972, and only in the face of fierce resistance from alumni. In 1986, conservative students armed with sledgehammers attacked a village of symbolic shanties erected on campus to protest South African apartheid. More recently, students assailed members of an Occupy vigil at Dartmouth, heckling them with cries of “Faggots! Occupy my asshole!”

“Dartmouth is a very appearance-oriented place,” sophomore Becca Rothfeld tells me when I visit the campus in February. “As long as everything is all right superficially, no one is willing to inquire as to the reality of the situation. Everyone knows that hazing goes on, but no one wants to discuss it – just like they don’t want to talk about racism, sexism, homophobia, classism.” She shrugs, apparently resigned to the situation. “People don’t really talk about things at Dartmouth, let alone argue or get outraged about them.”

This winter, in the wake of Lohse’s op-ed, 105 Dartmouth professors, concerned about this entrenched mindset of avoidance, signed a letter condemning hazing as “moral thuggery” and urged the college to overhaul the Greek system. It was the faculty’s third concerted effort to reform the system since the 1990s. Dissent, a signature part of the undergraduate experience at many liberal-arts colleges, is, at Dartmouth, common only to the faculty. “No matter what your actual ‘Dartmouth Experience’ is, everyone usually falls in line and says, ‘Yes, we all love Dartmouth,’” laments English professor Ivy Schweitzer, who has taught at the college for 29 years. “It’s really a very corporate way of thinking.”

Within the Ivy League, Dartmouth is considered the most “corporate” of the schools, with a reputation for sending graduates to Wall Street and the upper echelons of the corporate world. Statistics show that roughly a quarter of each graduating class find jobs in finance and business – a figure many students consider low, given Dartmouth’s prominent ties to its Wall Street alumni, who often come back to campus to recruit. “I’ve been at our house when a senior partner from a financial-services firm and a chief recruiter from someplace like Bain are standing around drinking with us as we haze our pledges,” says senior Nathan Gusdorf. (In the kind of irony rife at Dartmouth, Gusdorf is an organizer of Dartmouth’s Occupy movement as well as a brother in Zeta Psi, a house that was “de-recognized” by the college for 10 years after it circulated a newsletter in which some of the brothers promised to reveal “patented date-rape techniques.”) “Presumably, you would find a lot of drinking and plenty of frat boys at any university,” says Gusdorf, “but here, drunk frat boys are handed so much power right off the bat. People do incredibly bad things to one another here, because they know they’re going to get away with it.”

That attitude of inherent entitlement often carries over after graduation. “One of the few dependable ways into the one percent is via these elite feeder systems, like Dartmouth,” says David Rothkopf, a visiting scholar at the Carnegie Endowment for International Peace and the author of Power Inc., which examines the influence wielded by multinational corporations in the global era. “These schools are about their role as networked conduits to the top as much as they are about education.”

Or, as one of Lohse’s SAE brothers puts it: “Having a 3.7 and being the president of a hard-guy frat is far more valuable than having a 4.0 and being independent when it comes to going to a place like Goldman Sachs. And that corporate milieu mirrors the fraternity culture.”

On a warm February afternoon, I visit Andrew Lohse at his mother’s house in Brattleboro, Vermont. Almost 22, he is a handsome kid with tousled brown hair and a polite, almost self-effacing manner. The aggressively preppy look he once favored – ratty Oxford shirts and Nantucket Reds, a style one of Lohse’s former friends refers to as “go-fuck-yourself” fashion – has been significantly toned down. In the dining room, his Macbook sits on a table surrounded by legal pads, newspapers and books by Noam Chomsky, F. Scott Fitzgerald and Jay McInerney. He’s writing a memoir: a “generational tale” that he hopes will be part Bright Lights, Big City, part The Sun Also Rises and part This Side of Paradise, and describes as “a one-way ticket to the secret violence at the heart of the baptismal rites of the new elite.” At which point he stops himself. “I bet that sounds incredibly douchey and brash and stupid.”

Lohse is a highly self-aware young man who nonetheless came to Dartmouth filled with what he now sees as stupid ideas. His goal, he says, was to raise his station in life as much as his grandfather, a man of humble stock who became a wealthy banker, had done by forging powerful connections. “I read a lot of Fitzgerald before I came to college,” Lohse says, “and I guess I wanted to be like that, like a character. I took the idea of creating an identity really seriously. But it wasn’t really me. I’m just a regular kid from Nowhere, New Jersey.”

In some ways, Dartmouth’s own history centers on the concept of identity. Founded in 1769 by a Congregational minister, Eleazar Wheelock, its initial mission was to educate the local Abenaki Indians, a dream that was never realized. Instead, Dartmouth became a college for wealthy white boys who adopted the Indian as their mascot and “Wah-hoo-wah!” as their war cry. They also drank heavily: One cherished facet of the Wheelock myth is that he “tamed” the Indians with New England rum. “It’s all a false sense of history,” says Lohse. “But it’s also very tied into this idea that by going to Dartmouth you’re being ‘tamed’ and civilized and ultimately made into a member of the upper class.”

Like most Dartmouth students, Lohse began his journey into this exclusive society just prior to the start of his freshman year, with a five-day wilderness orientation called Trips. This is a Dartmouth tradition, where students hike, kayak, mountain bike or otherwise explore the White Mountains for a few days, winding up at the Dartmouth-owned Moosilauke Ravine Lodge, or the “lodj,” where they gather for a communal dinner, followed by song-and-dance routines, and they are even asked to sit on the floor and listen to ghost stories. “Hazed into happiness” is how Gusdorf puts it.

Lohse found the experience both exhilarating and disconcerting. “There is a very specific message you get on Trips,” he says, “which is ‘We’re all your friends, you’re part of this awesome new world of Dartmouth, and if you’re not having the absolute best time of your life, then there’s something really wrong with you.’ You are immediately assimilated into this homogeneous way of thinking, where you can’t see any of it as uncomfortable or weird, even though it is.” One facet of the Trips experience is being served green eggs and ham in the “lodj” and reading Dr. Seuss (a Dartmouth alum, whose real name was Theodor Geisel). “It’s like they reduce you to a child in order to remake you,” says Lohse. “And then you’re in on the joke. You go to one of the best schools in America and you sit on the floor and eat green eggs and ham… and you’re going to run the world really soon.”

Lohse understood that to enter this privileged class requires one to make the appropriate connections, and he immediately set about trying to forge them. As a freshman, he contributed to The Dartmouth Review, the college’s staunchly conservative newspaper, founded by a group of young neocons in 1980. He also began to develop his “rush strategy” to prepare for joining a fraternity. “Deciding which fraternity to pledge is the most important political decision a Dartmouth man will make,” says Lohse.

It is also, for many, a social necessity. For a college town, Hanover is a fairly boring place to spend four years. Its one main street is lined with cute cafes and high-end shops, but offers virtually no student diversions beyond a movie theater. This leaves the fraternities, whose parties are open to all. Fraternities (unlike sororities, most of which are dry) also happen to be the only campus entities that serve alcohol to minors, which about 70 percent of Dartmouth undergrads happen to be. And the beer is free: Brothers pay for it out of their social dues, with houses sometimes blowing $25,000 per term on beer and other forms of entertainment. Roughly half of Dartmouth’s 4,200 students may be affiliated with a Greek organization, but the other half takes part in the system by default.

In high school, Lohse had never been much of a partier. “I never drank before coming to Dartmouth,” he says. “I mean, I cut school to go to a John McCain rally.” But he knew he’d have to master his aversion to alcohol to gain any kind of traction. According to the National Institute on Alcohol Abuse and Alcoholism, the conventional definition of a “binge” is five drinks in a two-hour period for men. Dartmouth frat boys pride themselves on being able to drink six cups of beer in less than 30 seconds – it’s called a “quick six,” and requires a person to literally open their gullet and pour the liquid down. There is a YouTube video in which a Dartmouth student does this in less than 10 seconds, but even this feat may not be a record.

All of this binge boozing leads inevitably to binge vomiting. Puking and then continuing to drink – the term is “boot and rally” – is an indelible part of Dartmouth social culture, heralded by successive classes of students. “You’re horrified at first, but then you get used to it,” says Lohse. “There’s a certain way of doing things at Dartmouth, and if you want to succeed, you just have to do it that way.”

Lohse had been introduced to the Dartmouth frat culture in high school, while visiting his brother, Jon, a member of Sigma Phi Epsilon. It was in Sig Ep’s basement where Andrew, then 16, first encountered pong, Dartmouth’s signature drinking game, played with sawed-off paddles and “about five times as much beer as you play with at other colleges.” Fraternity basements, legendary for their grottiness, are elevated to a whole new level at Dartmouth. Their precise pungency is hard to describe: urine, vomit, stale beer and sour food, all combined in layers of caked sludge, which emits a noxious odor that can linger on your skin for days. Lohse was grossed out. “I was standing under this dripping pipe, looking at people drinking this watery Keystone Light beer, and I felt cheated,” he says.

But Lohse still desperately wanted to pledge. Since Dartmouth students can’t formally join a fraternity until their sophomore year, he and his friends cruised a number of frats as freshmen, trying to decide which house to rush. Alpha Delta, the infamous Animal House frat, was pretty much out of the question, as were the other elite or “A side” houses on campus, since they recruited jocks and prep-school types who “would have seen right through me,” says Lohse. In a way, he was relieved. Rumors about hazing abounded. One fraternity reportedly beat their pledges; another was said to place them in dog crates while the brothers vomited on them. Another frat ordered its new members to crawl between the legs of a line of naked brothers, “with, you know, their ball sacks flapping on their heads.” A fourth was rumored to require its pledges to have sex with a frozen turkey.

That left SAE. it had a reputation as a somewhat louche, not particularly athletic fraternity for rich boys, who often wound up “tapped” to join one of Dartmouth’s elite senior societies – frats within frats that offer a special inroad to the country’s future movers and shakers. Lohse made SAE his first choice.

He wasn’t a shoo-in, by any means. “Andrew was a polarizing figure from day one,” says a brother. The more conservative members of the house were strongly opposed to Lohse, who had quit The Dartmouth Review midway through his freshman year and had gone to write for its rival, the liberal Dartmouth Free Press. This was heresy in the eyes of his Review colleagues, some of whom were also in SAE. “They came very close to ding­ing him,” recalls an SAE brother. Lohse only received a “bid,” or offer to pledge the frat, after several brothers came to his defense, citing his popularity with women. A friend recalls walking into Lohse’s room one night to find a girl in his bed, alone, while Lohse was in bed with another girl down the hall.

One night in October 2009, early in his sophomore year, Lohse was studying in his dorm room when he heard someone pounding on his door. A senior stood at the threshold. “You and you,” he said, pointing to Lohse and one of his roommates. “Blindfolds. Follow me. Be silent.” The boys dutifully did as they were told, grabbing ties to wrap around their eyes and following the older brother down the stairs and into a waiting car. “Shut the fuck up right now!” a brother in the front seat barked, shoving a bottle into Lohse’s hands and ordering him to drink. It was MD 20/20, known as Mad Dog, the toxic beverage whose high alcohol content – 13 percent – and cheapness has made it popular with homeless men and hard-partying college boys everywhere. Lohse chugged. The stuff tasted like Lysol.

The pledges were driven to a remote spot across the Vermont border, where they were marched up a wooded trail and into a clearing. A group of SAE brothers stood before them, lit by a tiki torch. “Who among you most deserves a bid and why?” they asked. Lohse looked around as 10 sophomores scribbled down on paper why they deserved to be chosen. Then a brother handed each of them a bottle of Boone’s Farm Blue Hawaiian – a Windex-colored cohort of Mad Dog – and told them that whoever drank it the fastest got to remain. You go to Dartmouth, Lohse told himself as he pounded the Boone’s. You don’t lose.

Later that night, Lohse, now very drunk, faced a Review brother who had wanted to blackball him. The brother held Lohse’s embossed bid card in one hand and a lighter in the other. Ten cups of beer sat on a table. “Do a quick six in the time it takes for this to burn,” he told Lohse, setting the bid card on fire. “Go!” Lohse chugged, but was only up to his third cup when time ran out. Seeing his future go up in flames, Lohse vomited all over himself – at which point the brothers told him they were just kidding.

Lohse was given the pledge name “Regina,” after the character in Mean Girls, in honor of his aggressive social climbing. During his seven-week pledge term, he and his fellow SAE pledges, known as “whale shits,” were on call to cater to the whims of the brothers. Most of the formal “hazing” was reserved for meetings and challenges: Pledges would be required to perform endless “quick sixes,” recite SAE’s creed, “The True Gentleman,” while lying in a kiddie pool full of ice, or take shots of mystery alcohol while being quizzed on arcane fraternity lore. (This same ritual, with the addition of tying the pledge’s hands and feet with zip ties, led to the death of Cornell sophomore George Desdunes, the SAE pledge who died last February.) There were also “milk meetings,” where pledges were asked to chug a gallon of milk in 20 minutes, which always resulted in plentiful booting. “You get points for how many times you booted on other people,” says Lohse, who adds that the pledge trainers kept count while they sat on large throne-like chairs in a basement room. One brother recalls the night some of the pledges were served a scramble of vomit and eggs, known as a “vomlet.”

“Andrew kicked ass at pledge term, did everything required of him and then some,” one SAE brother says. But Lohse also began to complain, quietly at first, to a few sympathetic older SAEs. Why did smart, decent people who were supposed to be “brothers” have to do this to one another? Why did he need to debase himself like this just to belong to a group? Lohse, recalls one brother, “implored some of the guys to tone it down a bit. No one listened to him.”

“Sink Night,” when new initiates affirm, or “sink,” their commitment to a fraternity, was particularly brutal. Lohse recalls the evening in hazy images: lit candles, blacked-out windows, a relentless pounding on the walls of the elegant pool room of the SAE house, where the pledges­ spent more than an hour standing in a circle around the pool table in total silence, as brothers burst in and out of the room, forcing them to down bottles of Mad Dog. Lohse remembers the intimidating feel of shirtless male bodies standing around him as he was interrogated in a brother’s room, where he was ordered to drink three shots and recite SAE’s three cardinal rules: What happens in the house stays in the house. Trust the brotherhood. Always protect your pledge brothers.

At last, he and the other whale shits were escorted to the basement, where they were formally baptized as SAE pledges in a kiddie pool filled with a noxious sludge. “By that point you are really, really drunk – which is the point, because if you weren’t, you’d never get in it,” says Lohse, who was later told that brothers had peed, defecated, vomited and ejaculated into the pool. His account of the kiddie pool has been almost universally contested by others who took part; according to an SAE brother, the pool was actually filled with food products like water, bread, vinegar, soy sauce, salsa and hot dogs. “When you mix all that stuff together, it smells really gross,” the ex-brother says. “And when you’re in it, you don’t know what it is. We let the pledges’ imaginations get the best of them.” Lohse, for his part, hasn’t backed down. “I know this because I watched them make the batch for the 2011 term,” he says. “We were told they needed a few more guys to piss and boot in it.”

Such rituals were not restricted to SAE. One student tells me that during his pledge term, the brothers in his house set up a tarp in the fraternity basement, covered it in vomit, and made the pledges do a “slip and slide.” He loved it. “Everyone peed on it and threw in their chaw,” he says. “I thought it was great. I did it 10 times. But I was getting kind of cut up, so the pledge trainer told me I really should stop so I wouldn’t get too many infections.”

Ritualized vomiting was simply part of brotherly life. SAE has a “boot room,” which is essentially a bathroom where brothers in the midst of a rigorous game of pong can stick their finger down their throat – the term is “pulling the trigger” – and then resume the game. At some houses, pledges are not allowed to pull their own triggers, but must get a friend to do it for them. “It’s all about the challenge,” says one of Lohse’s SAE brothers. A game that is played at nearly every Dartmouth fraternity is called Thunderdome, or Dome. The entire goal of the two-man contest is to make the other person drink until he vomits – at which point the winner “claims his right” by throwing up on the loser.

“You don’t learn about Doming until you become a brother,” says Lohse. “When you realize you’re going to have to do this, it’s really shocking.” SAE, he adds, was never as strict about the “boot on his head” thing as other houses, though it did take place sometimes – “I’ve been booted on and booted on others,” he says. (Another SAE brother confirmed, “Everyone in the house was encouraged to vomit on each other, but the act of actually vomiting on another individual happened only rarely.”)

So internalized did these rituals become that even long-graduated brothers reflect on Dome, and other games, with fondness. “Seeing two friends pulling each other’s trigger was one of the most glorious things I’ve ever seen in my life,” says Snowden Wright, an SAE brother who graduated in 2004. “It was like two kittens licking each other clean. Pure friendship.” I assume Wright is kidding; he assures me he isn’t.

By the end of his pledge term, Andrew Lohse had vomited so much that the enamel on his teeth had largely burned away. But he was now a full-fledged brother, and he threw himself into fraternity culture, adopting an attitude that one former friend calls “the frat star who didn’t give a fuck.”

Throughout his sophomore year, Lohse lived up to every facet of debauchery he could conjure, from hooking up with multiple women to making sure he was the last to leave the basement at 3 or 4 a.m. “There was a nihilistic quality to Andrew,” says Aimee Le, a senior who befriended Lohse in his sophomore year. “The difference between Andrew and his fraternity brothers was that most of the other brothers would try to justify their actions to themselves. Andrew wouldn’t even bother.”

Hazing left its mark on some of Lohse’s brothers; one confided to Lohse that he had sought counseling, haunted by traumas like vomlet. Yet that same brother later hazed the next class of pledges. “It’s a vicious cycle, but it’s how hazing works,” says Lohse. “You accepted this was the culture at Dartmouth, and if you wanted to advance in the culture, you got with the program.”

Brothers aren’t the only ones injured by this unspoken pact around fraternity life. Sexual assault is rampant at Dartmouth; some female students say they circulate the names of men considered “dangerous” and fraternity houses viewed as “unsafe.” Between 2008 and 2010, according to the college’s official statistics, Dartmouth averaged about 15 reports of sexual assault each year among its 6,000 students. Brown, a school with 8,500 students, averaged eight assaults; Harvard, with 21,000 students, had 21. And those numbers are likely just a fraction of the actual count: One study showed that 95 percent of all sexual assaults among college students are never reported. In 2006, Dartmouth’s Sexual Abuse Awareness Program estimated that there were actually 109 incidents on campus.

“It’s depressing coming of age here,” says Deanna Portero, a senior from New York. While Dartmouth has an equal ratio of men to women, she says, it often feels as though nothing has changed since the 1970s. Today, a girl who wants to play pong at a frat party can do so only if she plays with a brother. Not to play is prudish; to be someone’s pong partner, though, “generally means you’re going to hook up with him afterwards,” says Portero. “And if you don’t like it, ‘Fuck you – don’t drink our beer.’”

Nearly every woman I speak to on campus complains of the predatory nature of the fraternities and the dangers that go beyond drinking. “There are always a few guys in every house who are known to use date-rape drugs,” says Stewart Towle, a member of Sigma Nu, who de-pledged in 2011 because of a number of practices he considered dehumanizing. He says some fraternities would remove an intoxicated person from their house before making a “Good Sam” call to campus security to inform them that the person may have alcohol poisoning. Dartmouth’s policy states that there will be no repercussions on either the students who made the call, or the student for whom the call was being made. However, whoever gave that student alcohol could still get in trouble with the police – and in the case of a fraternity, this might result in a fine of up to $100,000. As a result, many fraternities tend to make sure the drunken person is well outside the house before calling security.

One senior, who I’ll call Lisa, was “curbed” in this manner the second night of her freshman year. She’d been invited to a fraternity by one of its members. Thinking it an honor, Lisa enthusiastically accepted, and once she got there, she had two drinks. The next thing she remembers is waking up in the hospital with an IV in her arm. “Apparently, security found me in front of the house. That was my introduction to the frats: passing out from drinking, waking up in the hospital and not having any idea what happened.” What she did notice were bruises that looked like bites on her chest that hadn’t been there before. “To be very honest,” she says, “I didn’t really want to know what actually happened.”

Dani Levin is the president of the Sigma Delta sorority, and a peer sexual-assault counselor. “I get calls almost every weekend,” she says. During the few days I was in Hanover, she received several, including one from a woman who said she’d been assaulted, and then threatened by her assailant’s fraternity brothers not to tell anyone.

Incidents like this are not lost on Dartmouth administrators. Last spring, college president Jim Yong Kim, an anthropologist, medical doctor and the co-founder of the international NGO Partners in Health, established an intercollegiate collaborative known as the National College Health Improvement Project to study high-risk drinking in the same way that Kim approached communicable diseases in Rwanda and Peru. The group is slated to report its findings next year. “We don’t expect to have solutions,” says Dartmouth spokesman Justin Anderson, “but what we will have is a ton of data and ways to measure the results.”

For many in the Dartmouth community, this data-driven approach falls short. “I just don’t see that working at all,” says Joe Asch, a former Bain consultant and Dartmouth alum who is the lead writer for Dartblog, a site that covers Dartmouth politics. “It all makes for great PR, but this is about a group of college administrators who’ve all tried different approaches to a serious problem on their campuses, none of which have made a dent.” Even more crucially, such initiatives are not directed at fraternity culture itself, which many see as the heart of the problem.

Besides, say many at Dartmouth, the chances that the school will actually change its approach to fraternities seems slim. Kim, whose three-story mansion sits on Fraternity Row, is a strong supporter of the Greek system; he has suggested on several occasions that fraternity membership may have health benefits, citing studies that show that people with long-standing friendships suffer fewer heart attacks. In a strange abdication of authority, Kim even professes to have little influence over the fraternities. “I barely have any power,” he told The Dartmouth in a recent interview. “I’m a convener.”

In reality, Kim is one of the only officials in a position to regulate the fraternities. More than half of Dartmouth’s frats are “local” – houses that split off from their national organizations years ago, and are thus unaccountable to any standards other than those set by the college and their boards.

This autonomy, coupled with large endowments – SAE, which retains its ties to the national body, has, by one estimate, more than $1 million in a trust – makes the fraternities a potent power base. Kim’s predecessor, James Wright, was appointed Dartmouth’s 16th president in 1998 and embarked on a plan to end the Greek system “as we know it” by requiring fraternities to substantially go coed. In response, 1,000 irate students marched on Wright’s house and held protest rallies in which they accused the once-popular president, himself a Dartmouth alum, of treason. “Judas, Brutus, Arnold, Wright,” read a banner that hung from the window of one fraternity house. Wright declined to elaborate on the conflict, other than to tell me there was “push back” from both alumni and fraternities over his proposal; by July 1999, he had backed off. Instead, he implemented an infinitely softer set of reforms. “It was a whitewash,” says Professor Ivy Schweitzer.

Kim – who was recently nominated by the Obama administration to head the World Bank – was initially seen as a potential challenge to the status quo. But instead, he’s proven to be just the opposite. Not long after he took office, Kim met with Dartmouth alums and reassured them he had no intention of overhauling the fraternities. “One of the things you learn as an anthropologist,” he said, “you don’t come in and change the culture.”

Throughout his sophomore year, Lohse ran, desperately by his own admission, for a multitude of political offices available at SAE. Yet with the exception of a short stint as a “rush chair,” where he “sold the lie” to new pledges, hardly anyone voted for him. “He had a temper and a reputation of being kind of too big for his shoes,” says a former brother.

“I guess it started to dawn on me that most of the SAEs didn’t really like me,” Lohse says. “And then I realized that I had been forcing myself to like them.”

Lohse did become close with two popular seniors who openly flouted house rules by bringing cocaine into SAE, which they often snorted with Lohse in their spacious suite on the third floor. As with all fraternities, drugs were by no means uncommon at SAE, but coke had a particular cachet; one of the seniors most fond of the drug would promote it to his brothers as a sign of one’s elitism. “He used to say it was the ‘white-collar’ drug,” says Lohse, “where weed was ‘blue-collar.’”

Not all members approved of the drug use, though. In May 2010, toward the end of Lohse’s sophomore year, a straight-laced ROTC cadet named Phil Aubart caught Lohse and another brother snorting lines off a composite photo of SAE grads, in the house’s pool room. Aubart called Dartmouth security, who notified the police. Lohse was charged with cocaine possession and witness tampering – a charge that he incurred for pouring a cup of beer on Aubart’s door and allegedly spitting on him in retaliation. Other brothers, who considered Aubart a “snitch,” destroyed a table he had built, peed on his socks and sent him threatening e-mails. Aubart ultimately moved out of the fraternity, severing his ties with SAE.

Lohse, who was still a sophomore, pleaded no contest to the charges and received a $750 fine. While the brother busted with Lohse went on to graduate, Lohse was suspended from Dartmouth for a year. “The hypocrisy in that bothered me,” Lohse says. “We made bad choices, but I was doing drugs – I wasn’t harming other people. There are aspects of Dartmouth’s culture that do harm people, that are just corrupt to the core, and nothing happens.”

That November, living at home and angry over what he saw as the unfairness of his predicament, Lohse quietly visited the campus to report SAE for hazing. He had been encouraged to make the move by several friends and by his brother, Jon, who had quit his own fraternity during his senior year. Lohse met with Dartmouth’s associate dean for campus life, April Thompson, and David Spalding, Kim’s chief of staff, who was a brother at Alpha Delta of Animal House infamy. He told himself the move was in the fraternity’s – and Dartmouth’s – best interests. “I saw my role as a reformer,” he says. “I would argue that making these issues front and center is a very positive thing to do.”

Telling none of his friends or fraternity brothers that he was in Hanover, Lohse presented the school officials with a “dossier of fraternity-hazing and substance-abuse-related­ information.” For well over an hour, he detailed his experiences and even named names; at one point, he showed the administrators a photo of his pledge class standing in front of a table holding more than 550 cups of beer, explaining that evening’s mission: to consume all of it. Spalding, Lohse says, “was aghast.”

But Lohse “still clung to the idea that things could be different without me having to be truly public” – in part, he says, to protect himself from the kind of retaliation Aubart endured after informing on Lohse and the other SAEs. Both Thompson and Spalding assured Lohse that protecting his anonymity would be “a priority,” he says. “I thought I could reform SAE on the inside,” he says. “I never saw it as ‘narcing’ on them.”

Two weeks passed without word from anyone at Dartmouth. Just after Thanksgiving, Lohse e-mailed Thompson to follow up. He was told that, acting on the information he had provided about SAE’s upcoming “Hell Night,” the last and traditionally most intense night of the pledge term, the Hanover police were preparing to stage a sting operation in the hopes of catching the fraternity breaking the law. Lohse responded with a lengthy e-mail, arguing that focusing on one fraternity would do nothing to prompt a sweeping overhaul of the Greek system.

The sting, in fact, proved to be a failure: The cops had tried to bust the brothers in the act of hazing pledges in a public place, but all they saw that night was a bunch of drunken kids near a statue of Robert Frost, reciting the code of the True Gentleman. “We’re not idiots,” says an SAE brother. “The stuff we do outside can’t be seen as hazing.” Lohse believed the fraternity had been tipped off – and indeed, Spalding later told The Dartmouth that administrators had discussed plans for Hell Night with the president of SAE to ensure that the event would not violate the college’s hazing policy.

Counseled by his brother and his friends, Lohse decided to force the college’s hand by going to the media. On the advice of Professor Bronski, who had written for The Village Voice, Lohse even tried to set up meetings with reporters from The Boston Globe and The New York Times. But at the last minute, Lohse backed off. “I wasn’t ready,” he says. “A part of me still wanted to go back to Dartmouth and return to my fraternity and party.” That winter he took off for Asia, where he spent a few months traveling with his brother and working for a small NGO in Nepal. He continued to e-mail Thompson, asking about the status of the investigation, but says she failed to respond. He also says he began getting his act together. “The longer I stayed away, the less I drank,” he says, “and the less I felt like the person I was at Dartmouth.”

Lohse returned to Hanover last summer, to prepare for his junior year. He also returned to SAE, where he was still a brother, even if one now tainted by a cocaine bust. “He told everyone he’d traveled the world and was a changed person,” says a former friend. “But he was still drinking and smoking weed, still actively pursuing all the things that had gotten him in trouble to begin with.” To some, Lohse still seemed furious by what had happened to him. “Andrew has the full weight of the law brought down upon him, gets suspended and gets angrier at something he had already been really angry about,” says an SAE brother.

Lohse channeled some of his rage by becoming a columnist for The Dartmouth, where he took on subjects like Dartmouth’s culture of corporate recruiting, describing it in one op-ed as having “siphoned off some of our great minds into a dead-end field that sanitizes the intellect, offers almost nothing to human society and conditions people to act in ways that are decidedly inhuman.” At the same time, he clung, albeit tepidly, to his identity as a “true bro.” Last October, right before fall rush, he wrote a column extolling the fraternal experience: “I must concede that, happily or tragically, many of my most poignant experiences here have dealt with fraternity life [and] I’ve been trying to come to terms with them all – and with how I let those experiences become too tightly entwined with my identity.” His advice to those who pledged was to support one another. “Don’t forget who you are and don’t be consumed by who you think you are becoming,” he wrote. “Trust me, the two will never be as distinct as you are led to believe.”

But Lohse himself was spiraling downward. After being out in the “real world” and traveling in Asia, which he describes as an “awakening,” he now had trouble taking Dartmouth seriously, with its petty fraternity politics and drinking culture. Feeling ostracized by his fellow students, he fell into a depression he calls a “toxic mixture of anxiety and alienation.” Some former friends recall Lohse himself as the polarizing force: He would show up drunk at people’s doors at 3 a.m., or spend half the night on a desperate search for drugs. “The problem with Andrew is he’s always the victim, he doesn’t take responsibility for what he does,” says one of his former buddies. “But you always want to give him the benefit of the doubt because he’s so charismatic. You get high with Andrew Lohse, and all of a sudden he’s on a 20-minute tangent about literature and liberal politics, and he’s fascinating and exciting to be around, and makes you believe that you can do great things, because he wants to do great things. But one by one, I think a lot of his friends just gave up.”

By homecoming weekend, Lohse had descended to the darkest place he’d ever known. “The harder I tried to believe in it all, the more I couldn’t, until I just cracked,” he says. “I might have drank myself to death there, I just hated it so much.”

The Thursday night of homecoming is SAE’s annual champagne formal, which Lohse attended, already drunk on red wine. He then proceeded to drink almost two bottles of champagne, followed by lots of bourbon and multiple beers. By 6 a.m., most of the SAE brothers had passed out, and Lohse and some of the pledges took off for breakfast.

In the story he tells of this incident, Lohse was walking across the college green, near a roped-off area where the annual homecoming bonfire would be held the next night. As he cut across the “restricted area,” a campus security guard ordered the boys to leave. What followed was, depending on one’s reading, a profound expression of drunken entitlement, or “an existential act of rebellion,” as Lohse maintains. “I can walk wherever I want to walk,” he told the guard. Then he picked up a plastic folding chair and tossed it in her direction.

Lohse was escorted to the college infirmary and given a Breathalyzer, which registered his blood-alcohol level at 0.24 – three times the legal limit. Arrested for disorderly conduct, he was handcuffed and taken to the county jail. Sitting on a bench, waiting for his mother, he considered what had become of the overachieving boy who followed his grandfather to the Ivy League. Whatever the true nature of the Dartmouth Man, he had consumed what remained of Andrew Lohse.

The week after his arrest, Lohse withdrew from Dartmouth on “medical leave,” an indeterminate timeout often taken by students with eating disorders or drug or alcohol problems. “The day I left, I said goodbye to a guy I thought was one of my best friends, and told him I had a problem,” Lohse recalls. “He told me with the way everyone drinks, he had no way to tell who had an alcohol problem.” Back at his mother’s house, Lohse enrolled in an outpatient rehab program. By Christmas, he’d recovered sufficiently to decide that he was ready to take the action his brother and friends had long advocated. “It didn’t feel right until I tried to close my eyes to everything I knew and realized it was impossible,” he says. “I just wasn’t afraid of the backlash any longer.”

The idea of an editorial came slowly; Lohse wrote between 15 and 20 drafts. Finally, one day in January, he sat down and “just crushed it out.” After submitting it to his editors, who fact-checked his allegations thoroughly, he phoned his three closest brothers at SAE. One never returned his call. The second was terrified about what his parents and future employer might think – he had just secured a job at a leading Wall Street firm. But the third turned on Lohse. “He launched into a tirade about how I was a traitor,” Lohse recalls.

Lohse tried to calm the brother down. “Do you think all the stuff the house did, like the vomlet, was good?” he asked. “Or beneficial?”

The brother became even more enraged. “I ate the vomlet!” he yelled. “I made other pledges eat it! That’s brotherhood!”

In the months since he wrote his article, Lohse has virtually lost all of his Dartmouth friends. “I felt like an idiot because I’d defended him,” says one brother in a rival fraternity, “and here he was, throwing it back in our face.” Even those most sympathetic to Lohse’s position wished it had been someone else who had come forward. “The problem is, it’s Andrew Lohse who said this,” says one Alpha Delta brother, a well-adjusted varsity athlete with a guilty conscience. “Some of the stuff we do is really disturbing and unnecessary, and we do need to put an end to it. But if a less-controversial figure had been the one to stand up and say something, maybe it could actually happen.”

But whistle-blowers are almost always complex, often compromised outliers. And while moral outrage surely plays a large part in a whistle-blower’s decision to come forward, so may a combination of anger, revenge, hurt feelings, opportunism or financial benefit. The question, ultimately, is whether their questionable motivations or checkered past make their words any less credible.

“One step toward redemption is making amends,” says Bill Sjogren, a 1967 graduate of Dartmouth. Now a financial manager, Sjogren played football and baseball at Dartmouth and was a brother at the now-defunct Phi Gamma Delta fraternity. He is also a recovering alcoholic who says he learned to drink at Dartmouth. Sjogren resides in the Hanover area, where, in his spare time, he counsels students with substance-abuse issues. “No one has physically died at Dartmouth, yet, but the system destroys the souls of hundreds of students every year,” he says. “It’s just beaten out of you. If you take your academics seriously, you’re not one of us. If you complain, you’re exiled – like Andrew Lohse. For a Dartmouth kid to do what he did, he had to have been broken and hit bottom before he could break the code of silence.”

On February 22nd, his 22nd birthday, Lohse received a call from Dartmouth’s office of judicial affairs, informing him that, based on information he’d provided the college, they were pursuing charges against him for hazing. The college has also charged 27 other members of SAE, stemming from events in the 2011 pledge term. While the other students all categorically deny doing anything illegal, the information that Lohse provided to Dartmouth officials may directly implicate him in hazing. As a result, Lohse – the only student to come forward voluntarily – may be the only student who is ultimately punished. Coupled with the chair-throwing incident, the charges could get him expelled from Dartmouth. “I told them the unabridged truth, and they got me to incriminate myself,” he says. “I understand that no one is above the rules, but none of this would have even been possible if I hadn’t spoken out in the first place.”

When I ask Dartmouth’s new dean of the college, Charlotte Johnson, about charging a whistle-blower with the crimes he exposed, she rejects the characterization. “That’s an inappropriate analogy,” she says. “Andrew does not have clean hands. When someone comes forward and admits wrongdoing, it’s not an automatic grant of immunity. We investigate, and the investigation goes where it goes. And the outcome will be what it is.”

Dartmouth has recently formed a new task force on hazing, the most recent addition to the multiple committees already addressing problems on campus. The question is, given how the school has treated Lohse, will anyone ever come forward and speak truthfully about the culture of abuse and degradation perpetrated by the fraternity system? Lohse doubts it. “The message this sends is, ‘Keep your fucking mouth shut.’ And that’s pathetic,” he says. “If someone dies in a hazing incident next year, my saying ‘I told you so’ is not going to bring that person back. It’s not inconceivable that it could happen – people get hurt all the time at Dartmouth. But no one will ever talk again.”

SOURCE: Rolling Stone Culture

For those of you willing to give the entire article a read, please do us all a favor and comment below. It’s as controversial as it gets, so what do you think?

It’s not hazing. It’s brotherhood.

To start this off, let’s delve into a textbook definition of the word. Without a doubt everyone reading this already has their visions of sugarplums dancing in their heads regarding the complexities and realities of hazing. Yet, it’s good to know just exactly what we’re talking about:

What Is Hazing?

“Any conduct or method of initiation into any student organization, whether on public or private property, which willfully or recklessly endangers the physical or mental health of any student or other person.

Such conduct shall include whipping, beating, branding, forced calisthenics, exposure to the weather, forced consumption of any food, liquor, beverage, drug or other substance, or any other brutal treatment or forced physical activity which is likely to adversely affect the physical health or safety of any such student or other person, or which subjects such student or other person to extreme mental stress, including extended deprivation of sleep or rest or extended isolation.”

Why Haze?

We’ve already written an entire article as to #41 Why We Haze, but we’ll bullet-point the top 10 over-arching reasons once again just in case you’re too lazy to read it over:

1) Tradition

2) Reality Check

3) Personality Transformation

4) Unity

5) Brotherhood Commonality

6) Pointless Laughs

7) Necessity

8) Historical Education

9) Boot Camp

10) Because We Can

The Worst of the Worst

Just like anything in society, there’s two completely different perspectives on the theory. While the Brotherhood supports it in entirety, people like Child-Abuses.com provide more than enough reason to ditch the practice altogether. More than anything, it’s not a surprise that the most read articles on PledgingSucks.com are the following:

#23: Top 10 Worst Hazing Scandals and Stories

#45: 14 Most Brutal Hazing Rituals

Everyone likes a story, and society (in conjunction with the media) get wet with every fraternity horror story. What ever happened to ‘boys will be boys?’ Not that I’m supporting the ridiculous stories seen above, but like anything in life, the highest highs will forever be foreshadowed but he lowest lows. Fraternity hazing is not undertaken with such end-results. There are positive societal benefits to such hazing practices, believe it or not.

Brother Hazing

#26 Brother Hazing can be worse that pledge hazing at times. It’s what keeps the passion going. Believe it or not, there are times when fraternities don’t have pledges to fuck with. At such dire times, brothers keep the dream alive. Yet, hazing isn’t limited to pledges. That’s what proves the point. Hazing is everywhere, so why do fraternities get the worst reputation? Even #6 Tim Tebow Gets Hazed, along with numerous other sports hazing incidents.

The underlying reasons why a brother would haze another brother follow the same reasons why a brother would haze a pledge. If someone disrespects a woman, then punishment is in order. If someone isn’t showing proper respect to elders or hierarchy, then punishment is in order. The list goes on and on. I’m not saying that pledgeship doesn’t involve pointless hazing, but I’m trying to push a point that the lowest lows seen throughout the media always overshadow the common theories of why hazing exists, and why it should continue.

Any thoughts? Talk it out in the comments below. We’re interested to see what our readers have to say about hazing altogether. Whether a bro, #20 GDI or whatever else, we’d like to hear what you have to say.

It’s not hazing. It’s brotherhood.

If you’re enduring any form of legitimate hazing, then there’s nothing greater than the concept of a week of solitude. If you’re the #13 PCP, then you’ll want nothing more than to shut off your phone. If you’re the #10 Token Fat Pledge, you’ll want nothing more than to go home and have mommy and daddy tell you how good you look. No matter who you are as a pledge, the week of Spring Break brings joyous freedom away from whatever it is that you hate most about pledgeship. If you’re struggling to find something you hate, we can tell you Why It Sucks.

Yet, if you truly believe #33 Pledgeship Is A Party, don’t even think about letting a week of college go buy without blacking out. Only the most hardcore #49 Future Frat-Stars know how to take things to the limit. Grab your soon-to-be initiated pledge class and head to Panama City, Key West or Mexico. Enjoy a week of sitting your fat asses on the beach without a brother in sight. Be smart about it though, you don’t want to end up where the brotherhood decides to party that week.

Feel free to fuck with the brothers while you’re gone. Let their drunken calls go to voicemail, and text them the number of a taxi when they ask you who’s driving that night. You’d be shocked at how dependent they are on pledges, especially when they’re deprived for 7 days straight. When you return the next week, you better be prepared to express some badass fuck stories from Spring Break. Yet, don’t be caught with your hand down your pants describing your Spring Break of family dinners and early-bird movie nights.

More than anything, the #62 Cost of Pledgeship takes a toll on just about everyone. Your everyday billionaire doesn’t endeavor to pledge, so the rest of us get by with cheap beer and couch pennies. When it comes to Spring Break, you need a cheap deal that does the trick. If you’ve never tried a hostel, you’re fucking missing out. It’s glorified frat-life, without the hazing. Hostel-hop around cities for mere pennies on the dollar, and fuck each and every gypsy along the way. If you’re looking to impress the brotherhood, that’s where you start.

There aren’t too many true believers of the brotherhood, but HostelBookers.com knows us well. Take 5% off Spring Break accomodation by clicking HERE! In the words of the beholder: “HostelBookers is an online accommodation specialist with a fun and young identity. They offer students and backpackers cheap accommodation around the world and run grate competitions and giveaways regularly.” There’s nothing better than cheap rooms when you’re going to need every penny to blow on drugs and alcohol! Check ‘em out.

It’s not hazing. It’s brotherhood.

Let’s let the source explain:

A university fraternity has been suspended after allegedly giving a quiz to its members that asked: ‘If I could rape someone, who would it be?’ The University of Vermont is investigating the source of the survey, who saw it and how it was used by Burlington brotherhood Sigma Phi Epsilon.

The survey begins with basic questions about the student’s name, subject studied and their favourite memories. It then asks ‘Where in public would I want to have sex?’, ‘Who’s my favourite artist?’ and ‘If I could rape someone, who would it be?’

‘The fraternity has instructed the chapter to cease all operations, pending further investigation,’ a spokesman at the fraternity’s headquarters said. ‘Any behaviour that demeans women is not tolerated by the fraternity,’ the national Sigma Phi Epsilon spokesman – in Richmond, Virginia – added.

Almost 20 years ago the same fraternity (house pictured) was criticised over sexual questions, after it asked students what they would do with a stripper. Campus police are now trying to establish if criminal charges could be pressed over the incident, reported the Burlington Free Press.

SOURCE

Just another perfect example of #16 The Importance of Secrecy. By no means are we condoning rape, or such a question. Yet, it’s obvious that such a brotherhood tradition was best kept internal. The real question is whether or not the survery would have ruffled so many feathers if it asked every question other than the rape one. Either way, it is what it is. #33 Pledgeship Is A Party, but not to the extent of illegal demonization of women. We all know that sorority girls will be the drunkest partiers of all, but if you’re a true frat-star, you’ll find a way to poud-town without force. That’s common sense 101.

Lesson learned? We’ll see how it all turns out. Next time, don’t ask the rape question. On another note, what would you do with a stripper? I can ask that question, right?

It’s not hazing. It’s brotherhood.

It’s sometimes best to let the media speak, even if their inspirational #29 anti-hazing douchebag commentary makes you sick. We can’t always be supportive of the brotherhood, now can we? Either way, take a quick read over a local newspaper’s definition of “6 Common Myths”. Cheers to high school hazing, let’s teach ‘em young!

At Bethesda-Chevy Chase High School, hazing during homecoming week is quite the tradition. Older students pelt freshmen with paint and, sometimes, assault them.

It’s not hazing. It’s brotherhood. 

]]> http://pledgingsucks.com/myths/feed 1 http://pledgingsucks.com/portfolio?utm_source=rss&utm_medium=rss&utm_campaign=portfolio http://pledgingsucks.com/portfolio#comments Sun, 01 Jan 2012 16:13:02 +0000 PledgeMaster http://pledgingsucks.com/?p=1961 Welcome. Around 2 years ago, a few fraternity brothers (a few drinks in) came up with the nit-witted idea to start a website. Broke as always, the stellar bunch somehow rounded up enough money to make it happen. 80+ articles and 100+ thousand unique visitors later, it’s time to break down all that the Pledging Sucks brotherhood has to offer…

More than anything, we want and need your comments, thoughts and submissions. You can always Submit A Story, or shoot us an email @ PledgeMaster@PledgingSucks.com. We’re sick of being the ones always talking. Speak the fuck up, everyone will listen. We’ve written articles on request, and are happy to do-so. Talk to us, we’re fucking lonely.

Do us a favor and Like Us on Facebook, or follow us on Twitter. It’s a legitimacy thing…

Pledgeship 101

We tried to cover the basics. Everything you need to know about pledging. All joking aside, we’re attempting to be educational. Take it or leave, there’s some valuable tips strewn throughout:

#2: Rush

#4: The Asshole of the Brotherhood

#13: Pledge Class President (PCP)

#16: The Importance of Secrecy

#18: GDI: God Damn Independents

#26: Brother Hazing

#29: Anti-Hazing Douchebags

#33: Pledgeship Is A Party

#36: Taking Advantage of Pledges

#37: New Year, New Semester, New Pledge Class

#38: FAQ: Fraternity Edition

#39: Anticipation of Pledgeship

#41: Why We Haze

#46: Awkward Transition

#49: The Future Frat-Star

#53: Pledge Attire

#54: Big Brothers

#55: Underground Fraternities

#57: Pledge Master

#59: Fraternity Stereotypes

#62: Cost of Pledgeship

#69: Signature Books

#71: Alcoholic Pledgeship

Featured

#00: Pledgeship

#00: Why It Sucks

#23: Top 10 Worst Hazing Scandals & Stories

#45: 14 Most Brutal Hazing Rituals

#65: Frat Castles

#20: GDI: God Damn Independents

#30: Fratty Vocabulary

#13: Pledge Class President (PCP)

#60: What The Letters Really Mean

Types of Pledges

#9: The Overachieving Pledge

#10: The Token Fat Pledge

#14: The Pledge Who Does Nothing

#21: The Ideal Pledge

#25: The Drunk Pledge

Advice

#31: How Old Is Too Old to Pledge?

#40: When Should I Pledge?

#51: When Does Hazing Go Too Far?

#64: Which Fraternity Is Right For Me?

Random

#1: Animal House

#3: Fear of the Unknown

#5: You Know You’re a Pledge When…

#6: Even The Great Tim Tebow Gets Hazed

#12: I Love College

#15: Brotherhood-Haters: Fuck the Police

#17: Celebrities Who Need To Get Hazed

#22: Frat Life Reality TV

#28: Urban Dictionary: Frat Edition

#30: Fratty Vocabulary

#34: Frat Hazing Video Parody

#44: Hazing Visualized

#52: Charlie Sheen: Celebrity Frat-Star

#56: Sports Hazing: New York Yankees

#59: Fraternity Stereotypes

#60: What The Letters Really Mean

#61: Brotherhood Communication: The List-Serve

#65: Frat Castles

#67: Summer Session

#68: Legitimacy Factor: Long Dick of the Law

#70: Game Day Pledgeship

#72: Hazing Video

#74: You Signed Up For This

Submitted Stories

#7: Rob’s Story: Line-Ups

#11: John’s Story: Candle-Light Hell Week

#19: Margarita Mondays

#35: GDI’s Story: Volunteer Pledge

#42: Anonymous: Bullet-Pointed Pledgeship

#48: Pledge-In-Progress

#66: Puke Laden Slip-n-Slide 

In The News

#43: Sports Program Canceled Due to Hazing Incident

#47: Sorority Hazing Scandal

#50: TKE Initiation Hazing Allegations

#58: SAE Kicked Off Campus

#63: Yale DKE Chanting

#73: SAE $12K Alumni Rampage

#75: Marching Band Hazing Death

Quote of the Day

#1, #2, #3, #4, #5, #6, #7, #8, #9, #10, #11, #12, #13, #14, #15, #16, #17, #18, #19, #20, #21, #22, #23, #24, #25, #26

It’s not hazing. It’s brotherhood.

HEADLINES: Student Collapses And Dies After University Marching Band ‘Hazing’

   A student collapsed and died after taking part in an extreme initiation rite with a famous university marching band. Robert Champion, 26, was found unresponsive on a bus outside an Orlando Hotel in Florida, where the band were staying after a football match this weekend. He vomited and complained of not being able to breathe before he passed out. The Marching 100 band at Florida A&M University, Tallahasee, has been shut down while an investigation into the drum player’s death takes place. The band has a long history of ‘hazing’ – a practice mainly found in the U.S., in which students are forced to take part in violent or distressing initiation rites in order to join elite clubs or groups. University staff admitted that 30 students were kicked out of the band this semester because of hazing and that there are three active investigations. University president James Ammons said he had suspended the performances and activities of all FAMU’s music groups out of respect for Mr Champion’s family, who live in Atlanta.

   Orange County Sheriff Jerry Demings said a preliminary autopsy was inconclusive and that more tests would be needed to know what caused Mr Champion’s death. But he said investigators had visited the university and concluded that ‘hazing was involved in the events that occurred prior to the 911 call for assistance.’ In Florida, any death that occurs in connection with hazing is a third-degree felony. ’In the next few days or weeks, it will become clearer as to whether any criminal charges will be forthcoming,’ added the sheriff in a statement.

   Mr Champion’s death followed Marching 100′s performance at a football game in which FAMU lost to annual rival Bethune-Cookman. The band has an impressive history, having played at several Super Bowls and represented the U.S. in Paris at the 200th anniversary of the French Revolution. But it has also faced continued controversy related to hazing for more than 20 years. In 1989, eight band members were charged with battery after they allegedly held a student against his will and beat his head with their elbows. Prosecutors dropped the charges after FAMU disciplined the suspects. In 1998, a band member was hit more than 300 times with paddles as part of an initiation into the clarinet section. Tallahassee police dropped their investigation because the band member’s participation in the event was voluntary.

   In 2004, trumpet player Marcus Parker was awarded a $1.8million civil judgment after being beaten so hard with a paddle board he suffered kidney failure.Band members this week told the Tallahassee Democrat they would be dismissed from the Marching 100 if they spoke to the media about Mr Champion’s death. The student’s father, also called Robert, said his son had always wanted to be in the band. ’He did what he wanted to do and he reached the plateau that he wanted to be.’

Source

Rough outcome, but it is what it is. It’s sad, but it seems as though his father understood the position his son was in. In other words, he knew his son was being hazed, and he knew it was a right of passage that his son accepted. Unfortunate story, and our prayers are with the family of the lost.

It’s not hazing. It’s brotherhood.

Celebrities all around the country can learn a thing or two from the Brotherhood. Hell, if only Tiger Woods would have taught his multitude of sluts about the #16 Importance of Secrecy, maybe he’d still have his smokin’ hot wife and a decent golf game. On another note, society continues to breath down the neck of the brotherhood regarding hazing. Well, maybe they should spend more time monitoring the boys locker rooms at Penn State. Too soon?

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It’s not hazing. It’s brotherhood.

While the Brotherhood recommends you find solance in your pledge brothers, you want nothing of it. As the #4 Asshole of the Brotherhood practically kicks you in the nuts, you regret ever considering a life of boat shoes, khakis and polos. Yes, in all honesty, there are times when the life of a #18 GDI can seem pretty damn glamorous. Now is that time. Yet, when it’s all said and done, you only have yourself to blame. Remember, you signed up for this.

Society continues to take shots at Greek life. While we’re definitely not the most positive attribute to society, we’re not even close to the worst. Either way, society continues to have sympathy for pledges all around the country. Society cries, fights and protests for the so-called victims. Random people everywhere are shunning the age-old art of hazing, portraying young freshmen as victims of hatred. The Brotherhood’s response? It’s simple: You signed up for this.

Life has, and always will be, a mere compilation of small decisions made every second of the day. In the end, it is you, and only you, who decides what happens next. When it comes to #2 Rush, you’re the one making the choice to better your college career. You’re the one who walks in the door and meets the Brotherhood. You’re the one who shakes the President’s hand in acceptance of your bid. You’re the one who ties the shoelaces on your boat shoes to sport the ultimate #53 Pledge Attire. You’re the one who recites the Greek alphabet in unison while being pelted by food. You’re the one who embraces your pledge brothers in times of physical and mental turbulence. In the end, you’re the one who has the power to walk out that door if you can’t take it anymore.

Make sense? Let’s draw a comparison. If you join the ROTC, Navy Seals, Army, or whatever, does society come to your side because your drill sargearnt almost drowns you? Absolutely not. It’s training for the real world, if not for warfare. I find it ironic that all military training goes unnoticed to the public. Yet, their hazing goes far beyond that of the Brotherhood. Let’s remember that not all hazing goes down the lines of #23 The Top 10 Worst Hazing Scandals & Stories. Those are the very select few, literally one-in-a-million. In the grand scheme of things, there are very few differences between military training and brotherhood hazing. In the end, #41 Why We Haze is all the same. While one is for the military, another is for the Brotherhood. Either way, you’ve signed up for both. There is no contract, and there are no shackles keeping you from leaving. For whatever reason, if you can’t handle it anymore, the door is always open.

It makes me literally sick to read the daily reports of hazing incidents all around the country. Pledges everywhere are calling it quits. Yet, instead of merely walking out the door with dignity, they run home to mommy and daddy with more than enough stories to cripple the Brotherhood. In this day in age, if you don’t know what you’re getting into, you’re the only one at fault. It doesn’t get more clear than this: You signed up for this, so deal with it.

More than anything, the Brotherhood respects your decision to part ways. If a life of fraternal order is not right for you, then so be it. As a brother, we’ll never support a pledge’s continued presence if his heart is not in the right place. If both sides would be better off parting ways, then so be it. Yet, the difference is made post-pledgeship. What will you become when you walk out that door: bitter? rogue? vengeful? If you’re dying to know, the honorable thing to do has and always will remain the same. The #16 Importance of Secrecy stands strong, whether intitiated into the Brotherhood or not. Keep quiet, and hold your head high. You signed up for this. Don’t make the Brotherhood pay for your mistake.

It’s not hazing. It’s brotherhood.

Below is an email sent out to the alumni listserv this week. It is important to keep in mind, for a fuller mental picture, that SAE was shut down for nearly a decade, so the offending alumni are at least in their mid-thirties:

 

Concerned Alumni,

 

We appreciate your concern at the state of the house and thank you for coming by this weekend. We agree that the house is currently in the worst state that we have ever seen it and sympathize to a large degree with your concern about a lack of respect for the property. However, we think it is only fair, in the spirit of full disclosure, to let you know a bit more about how the house came to look, and smell, the way that it does.

 

Our officers and other concerned brothers spent a great deal of time and effort in the two weeks leading up to Homecoming to make sure that the house was presentable and that our alumni would be proud to come back. We had brothers painting, cleaning, repairing dry wall, vacuuming, etc. in order to make sure the house was in good order. We had brothers go to great lengths to get food together for the cooking that they preformed on Saturday – a new addition to homecoming that we hope you all enjoyed. We planned and paid for a cash bar that had been approved through appropriate channels, but the school later reneged and it had to be shut down. All this to say that for a 101 year old house, 2500 Kensington Place was looking as good as I’ve seen it in my time here. Then our alumni came.

 

To keep this short we will make a list of a few of the damages done by our alumni over the weekend:

 

2 4′ X 12′ sections of dry wall completely destroyed
17 broken windows
2 broken ceiling fans (all blades removed and glass shattered)
Every toilet in the house clogged with various objects including beer cans, toilet paper, etc.
Paint splattered all over the bar room
A slur painted on the basketball goal, which was also broken
Broken porch lights
5 broken door frames and locks
3 broken exit signs
2 discharged fire extinguishers (sprayed into the rooms of officers and onto the cars of active brothers with more slurs and graphic pictures drawn into the chemicals)

 

Officers rooms:

 

Treasurer’s room:
All furniture broken with over $2000 worth of damage and his ottoman thrown through his window onto the adjacent roof

 

President’s room:
Broken bed
Desk chair thrown through two different windows (incidentally both the chair and the shattered glass hit our president in the face as he was cleaning up beer cans in the front yard after the tailgate)

 

Rush chair’s room:
The entire contents of the rush chairs room were found thrown through a window and onto the roof of the chapter room
Also of note, on Saturday night an alumni had to be stopped from defecating in the rush chair’s refrigerator with a roomful of his contemporaries

 

House manager’s room:
Relatively little damage with the only issue being that every window was broken out

 

Social chair’s room:
It is currently impossible to walk into the social chair’s room without stepping on glass as 8 Champagne bottles and 7 handles of liquor were smashed on his floor
His bed was also vomited in and had a couch placed upside down in the vomit

 

Total (Minimum): $12,000
- Taken from the minimum cost for replacing or repairing all issues listed above.
- Costs include labor and materials provided by Vanderbilt Plant Operations

 

As this kind of destruction has become increasingly commonplace over the past few years, we anticipated some level of mayhem. What we got however was much worse than we expected. There is, without doubt, a very serious issue concerning the lack of respect for the property of SAE. The same can be said for the property of the brothers currently residing in the house. It is interesting to note that all of the destruction done this weekend, and in homecoming weekends past, has come from alumni and not the active brothers. There is a wealth of evidence to back up these claims and we take no issue if anyone would like to discuss the issue further.

 

The house means a lot to those of us who have enjoyed the opportunities that it affords us. For many, it has been an opportunity to meet lifelong friends and have the time of our lives; we would love to see it return to its former state. However, that process of transformation cannot happen solely through the hard work of current brothers. It will require a serious and concerted effort by both alumni and brothers to raise a good deal of funding in order carry out any kind of renovation plan. In so doing we will be able to create a place that commands respect and that will be much less inviting to the kinds of activities witnessed this weekend. We share your in your vision and in your frustration; there is little that would make us happier than to see the house returned to the majesty apparent in pictures we’ve seen from the 60′s. We welcome any suggestions on how we might make the house a better place and hope that we will be able to use this past weekend as a way to bring us together with the common goal of improving the house for future True Gentlemen. We sincerely appreciate all of the contributions that you have made, past and present, that have made the house what it is today. We along with the actives of TN-Nu sincerely hope that the actions of a few will not sour our relationship in the future.

 

Please feel free to reach out to either of us with any questions or concerns that you might have.

 

Yours in the bonds,

XXXXXX
EA
XXXXXX@vanderbilt.edu

 

&

 

XXXXXX
Alumni Relations Chair
XXXXXX@vanderbilt.edu

 

Credit: DeadSpin

When it comes down to it, once a brother, always a brother. Whether you’re 50 years old, or a newly initiated freshman, you’re all on the same playing field. So what if alumni entertain the need to shit on someone’s bed? It happens. What if that bitchy glass window is talking shit to you… so you throw a brick through it? The window definitely deserved it. Agreed? Yet, the #1 Animal House weekend described above goes a tad bit too far, to say the least. It’s one hell of a story though. The letter to the alumni speaks for itself. I only wish it was all caught on camera: #12 I Love College. Party on Garth, party on.

It’s not hazing. It’s brotherhood.

Whether it’s completely staged, or legitmately real, the hazing depicted in this video doesn’t venture far from the norm. The fact that a video camera is capturing it all makes the entire situation less beleivable, but hey, maybe they never got the memo on the #16 Importance of Secrecy. In my humble opinion, the situation was real. The brothers were mindfucking one of the pledges, who proceeded to take the bait and fall a little too hard in the end.

Thoughts? Sound off in the comments below: 

It’s not hazing. It’s brotherhood.

I don’t care how much of a #49 Future Frat-Star you were in high school, the amount of drinking you’ll endure within your four years of fraternal involvement will conquer all other feats. It’s a common joke that alumni return to the fraternity after a year of the real world, only to find out that they’ve become complete lightweights. Unfortunate, isn’t it? Either way, you’ll build up one hell of a tolerance during pledgeship, only to expand on it in the remainder of your college duration.

Whether you sipped on Papa’s cognac every weekend, or arrived in college a virgin in more than one way, your alcoholic experience of pledgeship will push you to the limit, no matter your experience. Puking is a must, and if you don’t, you aren’t doing it right. There are endless reasons as to #41 Why We Haze. Liquor hazing is no exception. Pledgeship teaches you how to hold your liquor, know your limit, and handle yourself at all times. If I were a father (which I am not), I’d make sure my kid gets hammered atleast once before he goes to college. God forbid the first time he blacks out is during pledgeship in a frat house. I think you can all assume the worst.

Social Drinking

Pledgeship really does foster social growth. You learn how to drink for the first time in your life. I’m not talking about sipping on a beer. I’m talking about knowing the rules of the game. As much as we love to piss off the lightweights by throwing names around, it is what it is. If it takes you two beers to get drunk, then so be it. In all honesty, you’ll save a fuck-ton of money in your life. Good for you, Mr. Lightweight. Pledgeship involves drinking on a weekly, if not daily basis. The #25 Drunk Pledge knows what I’m talking about. You learn how to pace yourself at a party, and just how drunk you need to get to gain liquid courage in talking to that slampiece you’ve had your eye on.  You need to learn how to handle yourself at a bar. Nothing will piss the Brotherhood off more than a pledge getting kicked out of a bar for being too drunk. Get a grip, and learn how to drink. You’ll value these lessons when you’re drinking with your boss one night in the future.

Bartending School

Pledgeship is a glorified version of bartending school. You’ll learn how to mix and mash every drink known on earth. Even more so, you’ll learn what the cheapest beers and liquors are, and how to make a cheap drink taste like an expensive one. You’ll learn to make shots weaker for girls, and stronger for guys. You won’t get the credit for making a good drink, but you’ll sure as hell get punished for making a shitty one. By the end of pledgeship, you’ll have a decent portfolio of bartending skills underneath your belt. Whether it’s at a tailgate, social or in your room, pledges will know how to fix something up quick at the whim of the Brotherhood.

Popping the Cherry

While the points above are all fine and dandy, alcoholic pledgeships can be taken to the extreme. You’ll learn how to take a pull for the first time, along with shot-gunning and funneling a beer. You’ll do numerous keg-stands, and learn what a Jersey Turnkpike is the hard way. If you have an issue with anything described so far, go fuck yourself. Pledgeship and the Brotherhood just isn’t for you. If you’re down to party, check out CollegeBarStore.com to fulfill your alcoholic fantasies.

Of course everyone is always going to read about the pledges that were liquor hazed to the worst extent (i.e. #23 Top 10 Worst Hazing Scandals). I won’t support killing a pledge with liquor, but can we at least see the positive lessons the brotherhood was trying to instill? Maybe not…

In the end, your alcoholic pledgeship builds up a tolerance that even the jolliest Germans can’t imagine. As a piece of advice, being drunk is always a great excuse for doing something wrong. If the Brotherhood is fired up enough, you’ll never be punished for sipping on something sweet at the oddest hours of the day. Feel out your pledging experience as it goes and gauge the positives and negatives of getting drunk. You just might come to find that a semester-long blackout might be a blessing in disguise.

As always, the Brotherhood has your back. If you’re a pledge in need of some savings, or a brother in need of the cheapest shit out there, SaveOnBrew has you covered: You’ve got the zip code… We’ve got the beer deals. SaveOnBrew.com– like Google, for beer deals!

It’s not hazing. It’s brotherhood.

Let’s make this clear, if you go to a college without a football program, then you’re most likely still living at home. Am I not right? A football program stands as the backbone of a true university. With a football program comes a handful of high-quality game days. Ironically, unless your brotherhood decides to hire a team of taxis, bartenders, musicians and door-holders, pledges will be in high demand. If you’ve yet to appreciate your pledging brethren, your first college game-day will turn the tide.

Let’s take a look at the numerous, yet essential purposes that a pledge will undertake during game day. To be clear, a quality game day encompasses a ton of sorostitutes, unlimited alcohol, quality entertainment, and a worry-free mind, to name a few.

Suppliers/Stockers

Alcohol doesn’t grow on trees. Don’t pull out a technicality on that one; you know what I mean. Someone has to drive to the store, pay for the liquid gold, drive it back and stock the bar. It’s just one of the many #62 Costs of Pledgeship. Alcohol is just the start as a true tailgate must encompass a variety of delicious goodness. If there’s a grill to be manned, your pledges will be the ones flipping the burgers and putting the ketchup on the dogs.

Pledge Drivers

Like I said before, unless your brotherhood pulls out a wild-card with a limo and a party-bus, there’s got to be someone who picks up the sorosituties. Pledge driving is one of the greatest aspects of pledgeship, and an integral part of game days. Someone needs to pick up the scantily-clad sorositutes, and it ain’t gunna be a brother, that’s for sure. Pledges bring the game to the brotherhood. The brotherhood then crushes the game. It’s cyclical, and awesome. On another note, there is a method to our madness of #41 Why We Haze. Pledge drivers equates to no DUI’s.

Risk Managers

While the #16 Importance of Secrecy stands supreme, risk follows the same pathway. Our #65 Frat Castles must remain elitist; not everyone can be let in. And with that in mind, not everyone should be let out. It’s the pledges’ duty to guard the doors and manage the risk. While I’d like to think a pledge would go to jail in place of a brother (devotion), pledges can’t do everything. But they can make sure the drunken masses aren’t being retarded, resulting in cops swarming the premises.

Bartenders

We need cold beer. The mountains must be blue, that’s for damn sure. Pledges not only stock the bar, but they man it as well. By the end of pledgeship, each and every pledge will have a solid amount of bartending skills under their belt. What if I don’t want to get out of my seat on the couch? Not to worry, pledges serve as waiters as well. Champagne, bitch. Make it snappy.

Entertainment

If your #2 Rush chair has done his homework, then there’s a handful of pledges who can play some tunes. In that case, pledges serve as your entertainment for the evening. Get a guitar and a set of drums, and let the cheapest band in town rock out for the night. And if it just so happens that your pledge class has no musical talent what-so-ever, atleast use them for another form of entertainment. What am I talking about? Shotgun contests, chicken fights, karaoke, etc. Make them look like idiots for your own comedic pleasure.

Cleaning Crew

If you’ve partied the right way, your frat castle will be trashed. Congratulations, that’s a good thing. When everyone heads to the game, let Santa’s little helpers make life a little cleaner. They know their place in life, and they’ll make sure that by the time you get back from the game, you’ll have a spiffy-looking house to trash once again.

Like I said, pledges make the world-go-round. Especially on game day.

It’s not hazing. It’s brotherhood.

After a semester of rituals, hazing, partying and what-not, any and all pledges develop a lifestyle unknown to most. By no means is this a bad thing. Your wardrobe becomes classy, and your frat-star mentality develops. In all forms and facets, pledging is a lifestyle. Live it, and learn to love it. Almost every brother reminisces on the best of times, and the worst of times, of pledgeship. Yet, only the greatest never stop pledging.

Like the Brotherhood on:   

… or follow the pledging lifestyle on   

It’s not hazing. It’s brotherhood.

The Signature Book is one of the most elemental aspects of pledgeship, and one of the most universal reasons why PLEDGING SUCKS. As always, each and every fraternity is different. Yet, in some way or another, the Signature Book shows its wiry little head on every campus. Some fraternities give their pledges a binder, portfolio or folder. In most cases, the signature book comes as a much-needed accessory to the “Bible” of each fraternity. Every fraternal chapter has a book of history, values, bullshit, morals and more bullshit. But hey, fraternities were, after all, founded upon things other than partying, right?

Anyways, the universal Signature Book serves a handful of purposes:

Learning the Brothers

These books are usually the compilation of every single brother’s signature in the fraternity. As most fraternities are relatively small, it’s not that big of a deal. Try getting 150 signatures… welcome to the big leagues. Either way, most pledges are required to garner the signature of each and every brother. In this respect, pledges get a quick and painful dose of names to learn. And you better fucking learn those names, that’s for sure.

Scavenger Hunt

Like I said, garnering these signatures isn’t easy. In most cases, the brothers will send their pledges searching for random objects, gifts, chores, etc. The purpose? Just to fuck with ‘em. A brother’s signature is valuable, especially when the pledges have a quota to reach. With that in mind, a pledge won’t hesitate to buy a brother a 6-pack for their oh-so-important signature. Who ever knew your handwriting would be so valuable one day?

Informative

Signatures aren’t the only component to the Signature Book. Depending on what fraternity you’re in, there’s a fuck-ton more information than you could ever wrap your mind around. These books can be filled with history, rituals, secrets, facts, etc. It’s a fraternities “little black book”, no pun intended. Without a doubt, the #16 Importance of Secrecy comes into play more than ever with these hand-held masterpieces. If you think all the information is necessary, you’re fucking retarded. Don’t be surprised if a brother makes a pledge write down and memorize the fact that Joe Shmoe fucked 27 girls last month. Funny? Yes. Necessary? Absolutely not.

Responsibility

Like anything during pledgeship, it’s all a test. Signature Books throw a ton of responsibility onto each and every pledge, from secrecy to memorization. While the #4 Asshole of the Brotherhood could rock his word with pages worth of facts, bullshit and scavenger hunts, most brothers take the high-road and merely use the book for it’s main purpose: to have each pledge learn the names and basic information of each and every brother. It’s all about responsibility. When it’s all said and done, these books stockpile quite the memories.

If you didn’t know already, now you know. For every freshman with a tucked in polo, boat shoes and khaki shorts, come the little black book, folder or portfolio tucked underneath his arm. If you’ve gotten to understand pledgeship so far, you can appreciate the tradition.

It’s not hazing. It’s brotherhood.

What exactly  am I talking about? I’m talking about #15 Brotherhood Haters: Fuck the Police. Yet, in a weird way, if your fraternity hasn’t somehow gotten involved with the law, you’re probably not partying, hazing or fucking hard enough. It’s like Lil Wayne going to jail. Yea, it sucks, but it makes him even more badass. Anyways, when it comes to fraternities, pledgeship throws a whole new ball of risk into the mix. The normal worries of “Minors in Possession” or “Driving under the Influence” become mere hiccups in the larger picture. If you haven’t read our In The News section, check it out. You’ll get a sour taste of what I’m talking about.

The #23 Top 10 Hazing Scandals and Stories paints the perfect picture. Pledgeship can go wrong, and no longer can mommy and daddy protect you. This is serious shit, and they’ll throw your ass in jail for it. So, #41 Why Do We Haze, if the risk is so great? We do it because it’s exactly what they don’t want us to do. 10 bucks says that the amount of alcohol consumption of 18-21 year olds would decrease if the legal drinking age were 18. And 10 bucks says less people would smoke marijuana in the long-run if it were legalized in America. Lastly, 10 bucks says hazing wouldn’t be so fucking bad if it wasn’t already taboo in society. It’s a matter of principle. Like anything in life, if something is illegal, there’s going to be a black market for it.

Anyways, the fact still remains. Hazing is “bad”, and the Long Dick of the Law stands ready and willing to fuck you if the opportunity arises. Now more than ever, secrecy is the most important factor of pledgeship. When the day does come when your fraternity stands before the chubby fellows with a badge, stand up straight and take it like a man. Each and every fraternity needs to brush arms with the law a time or two. It’s a legitimacy factor, and it reminds you just how badass your life of partying, hazing, fucking and so-on has and always will be.

It’s not hazing. It’s brotherhood.

No matter where you’re from, summer is hot-as-hell. That’s life, so get used to it. Just be happy you’re not the #10 Token Fat Pledge. He can fill up a glass of water with his sweat. Anyways, where you choose to live up the last few (free) summers of your life is up to you. Granted, there are always a few options on the table. If you’re coming from money, a summer abroad is always an option (and a damn good one at that). It’s hard to pass up a summer in Rome, London or Melbourne. But hey, we’re not all shitting out hundred-dollar-bills these days. Need money? Get a fucking job. Frattin’ ain’t cheap, that’s for sure. And of course, there’s the internship. Not all of us can intern for a sports team, beer company or daddy’s law firm over the summer, so grab your nuts and get a job at the Golden Arch if need-be. An hour of work equates to a valuable 6-pack of brew. Well worth it.

If you’re a true #49 Future Frat-Star, you know what the long days of the year mean: Summer Session. Your college has it, so take advantage of it. Summer session could quite possibly be the greatest feature of college altogether. It’s a continuation of Fall and Spring semester, minus the packed schedule of classes. The old saying of “lazy days of summer” takes on a whole new meaning. Your days will never feel longer, and you’ll never have more free-time in your life.

When it comes to summer session, fraternity-life is a little more low-key. Frats and sororities usually close up shop, but the brotherhood keeps in touch. If you’re a potential brother in your first year, summer session is the perfect time to get to know various fraternities before #2 Rush starts up in Fall. It gives you an extra opportunity to figure out the #59 Fraternity Stereotypes ahead of time.

Benefits of Summer Sesh:

- Minimal Coursework (2 classes max)

- Don’t have to live at home

- More free time than you’d ever imagine

- Continuation of Fall & Spring semester

- Party Every Day

If you’re not sold on the idea by now, there’s something seriously wrong with you. Just try it, give it a test-drive one summer and see how it goes. Feel free to shoot me an email when you’re sick of the non-stop parties and overwhelming free-time. It’s a tough life. And if you need a reason to do it, throw around the golden words of “getting ahead in school” or “expanding my knowledge” to your parents. They’ll bite: hook, line and sinker. Summer session: just one of the many reasons why #12 I Love College.

It’s not hazing. It’s brotherhood.

Check out the anonymous submission below:

“I can’t tell you the frat I am in. Buffalo pledging (off campus) is known as some of the hardest shit in the country. I’ll tell you one of the more enjoyable things I had to do. It was a sunday night and all the pledges (including me) were lined up in a basement. We were all blindfolded and had no clue what house we were in. They take the blindfolds off we see a slip n’ slide. We all know some slip n slide story but this one was insane.

Well, there you have it. Just one of the many reasons why we cherish the ritual of hazing so much. You have to picture a group of hammered bros sitting around their backyard with a slip-n-slide one summer afternoon. With the more drinks they pound down, the better their hazing creation becomes. Come Fall, their summer hazing idea becomes a reality. It’s amazing what dreams can come true with a few pledges to work with.

I’ve got to imagine that the actual event isn’t nearly as bad as wearing the same damn shirt every weekend for the rest of the semester. As always, hazing becomes an Olympic sport. The brotherhood inspires you to try new foods, loose weight and stay athletic all at the same time. 

Too much? Not at all. Welcome to the brotherhood. 

It’s not hazing. It’s brotherhood.

Word of the wise from a summer of bro-haters on Wall Street and in the Obama-sphere.

The Brotherhood will be back in action come fall.

Finish off your Coronas, and get ready for rush, pledges, game-days and so much more.

As always, shoot any stories, comments or questions to PledgeMaster@PledgingSucks.com.

Go Greek, or go the fuck home. Enjoy the rest of your summer bros.

It’s not hazing. It’s brotherhood.

We could talk all day long about the intangibles of fraternal brotherhood. Well, let’s be honest, there’s nothing greater than a badass fraternity house. It goes along with the #59 fraternity stereotype, and can even mold a fraternity when it comes to #60 what the letters really mean. The top houses on campus usually correlate to the best looking houses on campus. Don’t get me wrong, there are some serious shithole fraternity houses out there. But hey, who the fuck wants to talk/look at those?

The more badass your house, the better looking your sorostitutes will be. It’s a legitimacy factor. The better looking houses have an easier time recruiting #49 future frat stars during #2 rush. Certain fraternities are judged by their physical house, whether they maintain it or not, and how active it continues to be. Moral of the story? Sometimes it’s okay to judge a book by it’s cover.

Keep in mind these are all fraternity houses, not sorority houses. The extent to which college sorostitutes are spoiled goes beyond my words. It’s ridiculous. But hey, a bunch of college guys don’t want an expensive French-looking mansion. We want a frat castle: an indestructible fortress of greatness. It’s like having a man drive a million-dollar convertible. Yea, it might be nice. But we’d rather be driving a million-dollar truck. It’s a southern thing.

We’ve searched around for some of the more badass frat castles in the country. Check ‘em out:

Upload the houses that we missed in the comments below…

I know there are a ton of badass frat castles out there.

It’s not hazing. It’s brotherhood.

The comparison has often been made between the choice of wives and the choice of universities. When in high school, your college counselors ask you time and time again whether you’re 100% sure you’ve made the correct decision. While the Brotherhood completely agrees, we might have to take it a step further. So yea, let’s call your college your wife. In that case, your choice of fraternity is that of your mistress. Yet, let’s not go around fucking everything that walks; that ends up with divorce, child support and much worse. Your fraternity should fit you perfectly as you’re tied to it for life. Your brothers will hide your secrets and comfort your pains. While you might’ve already chosen your college (much like already choosing your wife), you have a second chance at happiness by choosing your fraternity (your mistress). Make sense? Apologies for the symbolism, it’s the easiest way of explaining things. It’s #30 fratty vocabulary at it’s best.

No matter what university you go to, as long as there’s Greek life, there’s going to be a few choices when it comes to fraternities. If you’re at a small college, your options are slim. Life sucks, that was your mistake for going there in the first place. If you’ve garnered the nut-sack to attend a prestigious public university (one of decent size), you might have between 10 and 20 fraternities to choose from. Call me crazy, but if I’m choosing the girl I’m going to cheat on my wife with, I better have some fucking options.

So let’s get right down to it. What elements can dictate your decision? Well, each rushee has his own perspective on things, but we’ll delve into the most basic components of choosing a fraternity:

Fraternity Stereotype

Like we discussed in our post on #59 fraternity stereotypes, each fraternity has it’s own look, way of life and reputation. It’s almost impossible to truly understand what the stereotype of each fraternity is within the first week of #2 rush, but you better find a way to understand the basics. Right off the bat you’ve got fraternities based on race, religion and ethnicity. Whether you’re black, white, Christian, Jewish or multicultural, there’s a fraternity for you. Grab your balls and ask around. Don’t be afraid to ask the obvious and establish what fraternity has what kinds of guys.

The stereotypes get even more detailed. Southern, Guido, athletic, social, nerdy frats are all out there. If you know what kind of person you are, or atleast what kind of person you want to be, find the right match. Understand that alcohol and drugs are prevalent no matter where you go. Make sure you know what you’re doing, and whether or not you’re prepared to get hammered every night, blow down a time or two, or jerk it in solitude. The choice is yours.

Friends and Family

One of the biggest determinates of choosing one fraternity over another involves a family member or close friend already being apart of one of the brotherhoods. Being a “legacy” involves having a family member in a fraternity. That family member could have graduated decades ago, but you’re still a legacy. In most cases, legacies are given automatic bids.

When it comes to having close friends in a fraternity, it’s hard to walk down a different path. The feeling of comfort is huge in college, and when you’ve got someone looking out for you, it’s hard to think outside the box. Just realize that the decision of your brother, father or close friend has nothing to do with your own well being. It’s your life, so make your own fucking decision.

Hazing

Right down the lines of fraternity stereotypes comes the notion of hazing. While it’s impossible to truly know just how much a fraternity hazes, it should be a crucial part of your decision. Again, don’t be afraid to ask around. It should be fairly obvious as to which fraternities haze and which ones don’t. #44 Hazing visualized will give you a small taste of what to expect. You need to understand just how difficult it is going to be to enter one fraternity or another. Don’t become starry eyed with the top social house if you’re a weak, math-club introvert. Hazing can make or break you. Be smart about it.

Price

Which fraternity is right for you? Well, it’s the one you can fucking afford. Let’s get this straight, fratting ain’t free. It isn’t cheap, and it’s going to cost you. Fraternities are pretty much up-front with you as to how much it’s going to cost you every year. Run the numbers and make an educated decision. You might have to involve your parents as well. Check out the #62 cost of pledgeship post to get a better idea.

Personality

You want to find the fraternity that matches you. Don’t try and be something you’re not. When talking with the brothers at rush, make an effort to gauge how much you’d like to spend the next four years with and around them. Keep in mind that the brothers of your fraternity can and will be life-long friends of yours. If you’re a drinker, then find your fellow alcoholics. If you’re a library-guy, then find the smartest fraternity. While thinking outside the box is almost always a positive, be careful when it comes to joining a fraternity.

The overwhelming key involves your ability to ask around. Find out #60 what the letters really mean. Don’t be afraid to ask the tougher questions to brothers of each fraternity and fellow students on campus. The more you ask, the more you’ll know. Your decision will only be as easy as you make it. Some guys join the first fraternity they enter, while others test the waters of each and every one. You’ll find that the older guys who ventured to a greater number of houses during rush are more satisfied with their decision than those who had made up their mind before rush even started.

Don’t be naive; take it slow. It’s a big decision, and one that you should make with pure confidence. Take into consideration each fraternity’s stereotype, the opinions of family and friends, the rumored amount of hazing during pledgeship, the cost of each fraternity and the personality similarities. The more work you put in now, the better off you’ll be four years down the line.

What went into your decision? Sound off in the comments below.

It’s not hazing. It’s brotherhood.

Yale is imposing a five-year punishment on its most notorious fraternity and asking the frat’s national organization to do the same.

Delta Kappa Epsilon brought the university bad publicity last fall, when a group of pledges stood in Yale’s freshman quad shouting “No means yes! Yes means anal!” and other sexually aggressive chants. The unwelcome attention multiplied in April, when the federal Department of Education announced it is investigating a complaint that Yale harbors a hostile sexual environment. Citing the DKE incident, among others, the complainants contend that Yale has “not a zero-tolerance policy, but a tolerance policy.”

Now, Yale College dean Mary Miller ’81 PhD announces, the college’s Executive Committee will ban the DKE chapter from conducting on-campus activities and using Yale e-mail or bulletin boards for five years. Since the chapter is not a registered student group, Yale can’t simply suspend it. But the ExComm has asked DKE’s national organization to do so.

In an e-mail to students and faculty, Miller writes that, after a “full hearing,” the Executive committee found:

“The DKE chapter, as an organization, one comprised of Yale students, had threatened and intimidated others, in violation of the Undergraduate Regulations of Yale College as they pertain to “harassment, coercion or intimidation” and “imperiling the integrity and values of the University community.” The Executive Committee further found several fraternity members had also, as individuals, violated the same regulations.”

She can’t reveal the names of those individuals or their punishments, Miller writes, because ExComm proceedings are confidential.

After the chanting incident last fall, DKE’s parent organization ordered the chapter to stop recruiting — but then lifted the ban within weeks, apparently without telling Miller.

The national organization’s executive director, Doug Lanpher, tells the Associated Press he was surprised and disappointed at Miller’s announcement, “because he thought the negotiations were confidential.” (Miller’s e-mail doesn’t mention negotiations, just ExComm actions.) The AP article continues:

“He said the fraternity had dealt with the matter internally by placing the chapter on probation, ceasing its pledging activities immediately and developing a new pledging process.”

“We know it was in poor taste,” Lanpher said of the incident. “We don’t advocate what they said. We believe that the chapter’s behavior has changed.”

According to the national organization’s website — which boasts photos of both presidents Bush — “DKE is the only fraternity chapter at Yale which has never gone inactive.” For now.

Check out the full letter text: Yale Daily News

Just trying to keep the brotherhood informed with society’s bullshit regulations. Not cool, just not cool.

Thoughts? Sound off in the comments below.

It’s not hazing. It’s brotherhood.

— DKE Pledges (Yale University)

Full story soon to come IN THE NEWS section.

Don’t forget to LIKE the brotherhood on Facebook!

It’s not hazing. It’s brotherhood.

Off the bat, let’s make this clear, fraternities aren’t cheap. I’m sure you’ll find one or two on campus that charge a hundred bucks to bring together a few guys, but let’s face it, that’s not a fraternity. If you’re going balls-to-the-wall, you’re going to have to pay for it one way or another. For most fraternities in the south, the mere yearly cost is atleast a thousand bucks. Not cheap, but for the benefits you’re given, it’s worth every penny. On the upper end of frat-houses, you’re looking at a few thousand bucks in yearly dues. Don’t get me started on sororities… those girls are pampered, but they sure as hell pay for it.

The difference between the cost of fraternity life as a brother and the cost of fraternity life as a pledge is extreme. When you’re a pledge, life doesn’t get much worse. Like always, I’m speaking for those fraternities at the top of the charts. Those that party hard, fuck bitches and live life to the fullest. Everyone else isn’t worthy of mentioning. Since we’re all about pledging, let’s focus on what exactly your money will go towards in your semester of fun. If you’re a #21 ideal pledge, you’ll learn quickly:

As a pledge, the monetary demands that will be put upon you are immense. Right off the bat, if a brother wants or needs something, a pledge is almost always responsible. While pledgeship varies with every fraternity on every campus, pledges will always have to fork over the cash in one way or another.

Vending Machine

Here are a few examples. First off, some fraternities require pledges to carry quarters, dollar bills, etc. in their pockets for brothers to use the vending machines. At any moment a brother can call a pledge for vending machine money. That’s just the tip of the iceberg. When it’s dinnertime, McDonalds is open 24/7. You get the picture. Partying tonight? Don’t put it past a brother to tell a pledge to go buy the liquor. Your ass mine-as-well swipe credit cards because you’ll be dishing out the money all semester.

If a brother is generous, he’ll throw in a few bucks. Other than your #54 big brother, don’t count of any up-front loans. Otherwise, a pledge has to fend for himself. There are stories of pledge classes holding car washes, bake sales, all of the classics you can think of in order to make ends meet during pledgeship. It’s a common reality that numerous pledges drop (quit) because they can’t afford it. Unfortunate, but it happens. Life goes on.

Gas Money

The biggest expense of pledgeship parallels that of designating driving. You’re a professional bitch-on-wheels for a semester, and no brother has any sympathy for how much money it takes to fill up your tank. With gas prices soaring, pledges are moaning. You’ll drive a brother to class, drive them to parties and shuttle girls back and forth from the fraternity house. You’ll have a scheduled set of driving hours, and will always have to drive on a rainy day. God forbid a brother gets wet on his way to class. Cha-ching.

Cigs & Dip

No matter what fraternity you’re pledging, there’s bound to be a handful of tobacco addicts. With cigarettes and dip serving as the majority, you’ll also see cigars, gum, condoms… you name it. Some pledges are required to hold cigarettes on them at all times. Other will have dip, gum and condoms. I mean, who knows when you’ll need a rubber? It’s call pledge-parenthood, a spin-off of planned-parenthood. Pledges not only protect you from drunk driving, they protect you from STD’s and child-support payments. Oh, the irony.

Bottom-Line Cost

Here’s a piece of advice, and a serious piece at that. When you’re walking around during #2 rush, don’t be afraid to ask a few questions. Talk to the brothers and get serious with them; ask them how much it’s going to cost you. They’ll most likely give you a bullshit low-ball number, but atleast it’s your starting point. It only goes up from there.

If you’re entering a top, social house, expect to spend a thousand. Base your expenses on how popular the house is, and what their reputation has been. While most rumors can be farfetched and ridiculous, some #59 fraternity stereotypes are right on the money. Don’t be afraid to ask around, it might make your decision ten times easier. No matter what, have a sit down with the old folks. You’re not going to be able to pay for it yourself. In the end, it’s all worth it. Four year to live it up, no matter the cost.

It’s not hazing. It’s brotherhood.

You really can’t argue this one. Check out the University of Missouri’s Greek community celebrate the little fucker’s death:

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It’s not hazing. It’s brotherhood.

The fraternity list-serve gives the brotherhood a universal form of communication. On a serious note, updates are sent out about upcoming events, rituals, etc. If there’s a #7 line-up for the pledges that night, the #57 pledge master will let you know through the list-serve. The upper-level executive guys in the house can let the brotherhood know when something important is coming up. Towards the end of the year, guys sell all their shit through emails. If you don’t get the picture already, the list-serve is a group email device that sends emails to each member of a group using one common email address. In other words, you’ll send an email to “SigEp@Gmail.com“, but that email will automatically be forwarded to each brother in the fraternity. It’s technology, get used to it.

On a lighter, more amusing note, the list-serve allows everyone in the brotherhood to laugh their ass off on a daily basis. With #30 fratty vocabulary galore, the more pictures, the better. If you can think of it, it’s probably already been sent over a fraternity list-serve. I’m talking about porn links, funny stories, videos, and the like. If there’s a deal at a restaurant down the street, you can let your brother’s know in a heart-beat. If you need back-up for a fight, there’s no better way to let everyone know. For most people, email is sent straight to their phones. There’s a few campuses that are using group text-messages as well to make communication even more efficient.

The list-serve can act as one of the many forms of #26 brother hazing. If a brother has been a douche-bag, feel free to call him out through an email. Bust his balls for fucking a fatty, or congratulate a brother for losing his virginity. Either way, let the brotherhood decide what’s worthy and what’s not.

Like all things fraternity-related, secrecy is key. You don’t want a girl to read the email that you sent out about you pounding her from behind the other night. That’s just not kosher. Even more so, you don’t want to leave evidence of hazing, hence #44 hazing visualized. On that note, check out Kappa Sigma’s leaked list-serve email that got ‘em kicked off campus. It’s a little lengthy, but definitely worth the read:

To the Distinguished Gentlemen of the Kappa Sigma Fraternity:

 

As I have mentioned I will be starting a weekly Gullet Report. In response to the Soft Report, I felt it necessary to offer a contrasting and more uplifting telegram. My theories and practices are elaborated in more detail in the body of this email.

 

Please send me all of your hook-ups in Tucker Max format (for those unfamiliar with this legend, google will suffice). These renditions should be elaborate and interesting. I want raw data on who fucks and who doesn’t. In conclusion the gullet report will strengthen brotherhood and help pin-point sorostitiutes more inclined to put-out. From my experience when a female goes Ksig shes typically repeats.

 

For your entertainment read on and pause for note taking. My hope is that ALL of our brothers will follow this creed with pride and distinction.

 

I have come to write this memo to you today to educate on the only life worth living, that of a Cocksman. A Cocksman is taught to live by the two most applicable principles I know: The Pie and the Gullet. You may already be lost in trying to comprehend this logic. Do not worry this is completely understandable. By the end of this memo, you will not only gain a greater understanding of what it means to live, but you will have embraced a lifestyle. However, in order for this to happen you first must know a couple key terms.

 

Note: I will refer to females as “targets”. They aren’t actual people like us men. Consequently, giving them a certain name or distinction is pointless.

 

Pie: A target’s vagina. Some of you may have heard phrases such as, twat, cooter, muff, snatch, poontang, cock pocket, DNA dumpster, fun hatch, cock sock, the fish flap, spunk-pot, whisker biscuit, or the rarely used, wizard’s sleeve. All these terms are interchangeable and fine to use. However, for the purpose of this memo, I will refer to a target’s vagina as pie.

 

Gullet: Usually refers to a target’s mouth and throat. Most often pertains to a target’s throat capacity and it’s ability to gobble cock. If a target is known to have a good gullet, it can deep-throat dick extremely well. My advice is to seek out this target early in the night. Good Gullet Girls (GGG) are always scooped up well before last call.

 

Grip: Refers to the tightness of a target’s pie. If a target is said to have good grip, your cock probably feels like it’s in a vice when you are deep inside it. If a target is said to have great grip, your cock probably feels like it got caught in a Chinese finger trap. Gentlemen, don’t let a target like that get away from you. Avoid the pie’s that are extremely meaty and resemble a cold cut combo from Subway. More often then not, if a target’s pie looks like a bag of roast beef on the outside, it’s probably a Cleveland Sideslapper.

 

Cleveland Sideslapper: An extremely loose pie. The target’s pie has become so loose because of overusage, the lips of the pie flap and slap it’s inner thigh as it walks.

 

Pie-Getters: A man that is possessed with getting his nut off. He exists solely to spread his seed in any pie that will have him.

 

R.D.A (Raw Dog Assassin): A man that refuses to wear condoms because no feeling on earth can compare to a warm piece of pie coming in contact with your cock. Let’s be honest, if it isn’t raw it isn’t real. Drawbacks of this philosophy are that you may have to visit the clinic more often than not, but a quick penicillin shot really isn’t that bad (trust me).

 

Loop n’ Doop: A target that is very easy to take down. All she takes is a good amount of liquor (loop) and she will be good to go for you to fuck her (doop). Be careful with loop n’ doops, because too much loop and they will get sick and be useless entities.

 

Guap n’ Drop: A target that is extremely difficult to take down. She probably doesn’t drink very much and she probably has a high socioeconomic status. Simple tactics wont impress her. It will take a good amount of effort and time to crack these. You are going to have to open up the wallet (guap) and spend (drop) a good amount on her to finally get to the pie. Better hope it has great grip for all your diligent work.

 

Defending the Gullet Report:
You may feel this is an unnecessary initiative. Gentlemen, you could not be more wrong. Gullet Reports only exist to help pie-getters get their nut more. It gives them the knowledge so they can operate as an efficient, calculated assassin. It also exists to call out the pie-getters who may fabricate stories sometimes or tend to exaggerate their sexual encounters. You all know who you are, and should be ashamed of your actions. There is nothing wrong with having a fatty on your record.

 

Also, sometimes targets that look like a Mack truck ran over their face have the greatest bodies and some outstanding grip. He who is without sin can cast the first stone, but he does not exist. Having a bad mark on your resume is a slight drawback of being a dedicated nut-getter. Shit happens. But own up to your disgrace, as you will only make the situation worse if you don’t take credit for dicking-down scum.

 

By now I assume some of you are wondering what constitutes a bad mark on your resume. To simplify the matter, I have come up with a rating system so strict that most of you will cringe when you actually figure out what your lifetime average really is. This scale was created because a friend of mine went on a spring break trip and came back claiming he fucked a 9. His defense was “she had to be a 9 man. She was the hottest girl I ever fucked.” That was when my friend and I decided to institute an absolute ranking system that could be universally used and implemented.

 

The scale is a simple 1-10 ranking system, with outliers existing up to a -5. Anything worse than that and I suggest you go find the nearest cliff and end your sorry putz existence. You don’t deserve to use your cock anymore and you don’t deserve to live your life. Moving on, I am sorry to break it to you but no one in our fraternity has ever fucked a 10. Probably only a handful have put down a 7. Society has inflated your perception and lowered your standards. My scale is absolute. It takes nothing else into account but pure physical beauty. Anything you can see with your eyes is fair game, however, a target does not get a higher ranking if it has “great grip” or a “great gullet.” How many times have you seen some sorry sap trying to justify fucking a poor piece of pie by saying “dude she gives great head” or “her pussy is so tight!” Many fatties and uglies do have great gullets and are particularly good at sex. They have to be more dedicated to their craft because no one would talk to them otherwise. Likewise, a target does not receive a reduced ranking if you get down to the pie and it resembles a slaughterhouse. It’s unfortunate, but poor qualities like that do not lower her physical beauty.

 

I would now like to take the time to explain the rating system in detail. I will not cover negatives because when you are trying to decide whether a target is a -3 or -2 that’s just sad for mankind. Moreover, since I do not personally know you I cannot be the judge of what pie you have fucked. I will offerer my guidance upon request because I consider my self a pie-getting veteran. My judgment is sound and I promise to give you my unbiased opinion. Seek my council in ranking a target, as initially this will be a difficult challenge for you.

 

To accumulate your lifetime average, have all the pies you have fucked verified by a brother who is also subject to these gullet reporting regulations. Then add up their ranks and divide by how many pies you have fucked. A good score is right around a 5.

 

To accumulate your “filth rating,” add up all the pieces of pie you have fucked that are a 3 or below and divide by how many pies you have fucked. Make this a percentage. For example, my filth rating is at 12%, but I have exceeded 50 pieces of pie. Not bad.

 

10- The likes of Marissa Miller and Megan Fox. No one will ever get this.
9- If any of you are lucky to get so close to perfection, feel blessed. If you fuck this up, you should be lynched. This is your ceiling.
8- See #7
7-Wife Status. Be careful not to fuck this up.
6-Date Status. Be careful when you cheat, but still cheat
5-Apply the 5×5 rule. Toot it 5 times, and then boot it. Move onto the next piece of pie.
4-One night stands, but they are fairly attractive. Should not be repeats.
3-The filth cut-off. These are not attractive women, but sadly many of you have fucked these.
2-Still filth. Still Pathetic.
1-Anything this close to 0 is bad. You better be 3 four lokos deep to justify this abomination
0-Let me just say from experience, when calculating your lifetime pie accumulation, throwing a 0 in the mix really hurts the average.

 

Additional Rules for a Cocksman

 

1.) Non-consent and rape are two different things. There is a fine line, so make sure not to cross it.
2.) A target should maintain the hair around her pie. It’s a matter of respect. Maintenance is preferred (I prefer pie that has been lasered increasing the aesthetics and feel).
3.) Do your research and find out what is a loop n’ doop target and what is a guap n’ drop target. Keep yourself busy by fucking loop n’ doops while working on a guap n’ drop on the side. It only makes perfect sense.
4.) When utilizing the loop power of 4 Lokos, be careful. A target on one 4 Loko is putting the odds in your favor of getting some pie. A target on two 4 Lokos is going to get sick and pass out. A target on three 4 Lokos leads to instances of litigation and lawsuits. Terms like “sexual assault” seem to be used in this case.

 

Pie Code

 

A pie code is essential to have so pie-getters can have a conversation in front of targets while talking about them and deciding which one to make a move on. The following references:

 

Blackberry: A black target
Blueberry Pie: half-black/half-white
Pumpkin Pie: A latin/mexican target
Pecan Pie: half-white/half-latin
Strawberry Pie: white target
Cherry pie: A young white target
Lemon Meringue: Asian target

 

Note: If you are so lucky to encounter a perfect piece of pie. I mean the grip is out of this world, it doesn’t look like hair ever existed in the region, and it tastes like strawberry shortcake, then you are allowed to refer to the pie as crème brulee. It must hit the tri-fecta to be considered for this great and honorable distinction.

 

*Don’t fuck middle-eastern targets. Exhibit some patriotism and have some pride. You want your cock smelling like falafel? Filth.

 

Do not recreate this email. This is for Kappa Sigmas. I will track you down and take your soul if you transmit this email to anyone outside our brotherhood.

 

- NAME/RIDICULOUS NICKNAMES REDACTED

Now that’s a ridiculous email. Props to the author for coming up with that one. Either way, Kappa Sigma got fucked in the long-run. More the reason to preserve the secrecy. Let’s keep the dream alive, shall we? The list-serve, among many other things, keeps us above and beyond the pitiful lives of #18 god damn independents. Let’s face it, we’re down the lines of #52 Charlie Sheen: always winning.

It’s not hazing. It’s brotherhood.

With almost every fraternity and sorority on the list, forums and blogs around the internet gave way to an interesting compilation of “spin” names for each house. Ranging from serious to downright nasty, each house (both fraternities and sororities) gets a few unique definitions. We’ll start with sororities, then work our way to fraternities. Some of the names have legend numbers attached to them. These numbers correlate to specific universities listed at the very bottom. Check out the list below:

Alpha Gamma Delta

All Go Down
Any Guy’s Dick
Aids God Dammit
Alpha Grabba Doughnut ²¹
Wham, Bam, Thank-You ‘Gam
Alpha Gamma Dogs
All God’s Dogs
Alpha Grabba Ho
Always Gettin’ Drunk
Alpha Grabba Dick
Always Going Down
Athens Guard Dogs ⁸⁸
Always Going for Doughnuts
Alpha Glam ¹¹²
Alpha Slam ¹¹²
All Gobble Dicks ⁸⁸

Alpha Delta Pi

Shady Pi
Ade A Pie ¹
Alabama Dog Pound ⁸
Ass Pie ¹
Eighty pound thighs ¹⁰⁶
ADPie Pie? Pie? Who said pie? ¹⁴
80 Pies
After Dinner Peices of pie
Always Down to Party ¹⁴
alpha delta cutie pi
AD Crossed eye ¹²
Always Devouring Pie ⁸⁵
Arizona Dog Pound ³
ADPi…did you say pie? ¹⁴
Always Doin’ Pikes ⁹⁰
Easy As Pie ⁷⁴
Ass Dick Pussy
80 proof ²⁸
Arkansas Dog Pound ⁹⁵
CrossEyedPi
ADGuy -6
80 pound thighs

Alpha Epsilon Phi

A E High
Always Eating Food
A E Fat
A E Thigh
Alaph Betsilon Phi -11
Ate a Pie -82

Alpha Kappa Delta Phi

Me Sooooo Horny - 23
Shady Phis, Spreads their thighs
KDPhis spread them thighs for them lambda guys - 23

Alpha Xi Delta

All Zippers Down ³⁶
Alpha Sleeze
Easy D’s
Alpha Disease
Chubbie Fuzzies
A Z Drunk ¹²⁵

Alpha Omicron Pi

Apes On Parade
Army of Pigs
Amimals On Parade
AO Piggies
Always Open Thighs
Ate a Whole Pie ⁵⁴
AO Fat Thigh ¹²
Eat a Pie
A O Poop ²¹
Yayo Pi ⁹³
Always Open Pussies ⁹⁹
A O WHY???  ⁸³
Animals On Parade ⁵⁴
Hey Hoe Pie ⁵⁴
A O Ate a Pie ⁹⁸
A O PERFECT ⁸

Alpha Sigma Rho

Asian and Stuckup Richgirls ¹⁰⁰
The nerds ¹⁰⁰
All Science-major Republicans ¹⁰⁰
White washed asian girls ¹⁰⁰

Alpha Sigma Tau

Can’t spell nASTy without AST ⁷
nASTy ⁷
Nothing goes down faster than an anchor.

Alpha Phi

All For Free
Alpha Phis do it on their knees
Jersey Chasers ⁴²
Alpha Flea
A Fatso
Alpha Fats ¹²
Alpha Feed Me
Fuck an A Phi, Marry a Phi Mu ¹⁰⁴
Alpha Phi – Get HPV ¹¹²
Alpha Fat
Alpha Phellatio ²⁸
If it burns when u pee its from an Alpha Phi ³²
Alpha Phiyotch
Alpha Feces ³²

Alpha Chi Omega

A Chi Ho ²³, ¹²
Alpha Christ ⁸
Alchy O’s
Aching Holes
Almost Chi O ¹⁰
Alpha to Omega ⁴⁴
Alcoholic Chi O’s ⁶⁰
Moo Cows ⁷⁶
A Chi Orexic ¹²
Beginning to End through Christ
Alpha Chi O’Model ⁸³
A Chi Blow
A Chi Snow
Alphaholics ¹¹
All cunts open
All clearly hoes

Gamma Gamma Delta

Gotta Grab a Donut

Gamma Phi Beta

Jamma Vi-brator ¹³
Can’t Get a Date-a ¹
Gamma High
Gotta use a Vibrata’ ¹⁴
Gamma High Beta (4:20) ¹
Gamma Phi Busted
Gamma Phi Bitches
Rob’s Ribs
Grabba Thigh Beta
Gamma Vibrator
Wish I Was a Theta ⁸⁵

Delta Gamma

Dirty Girls
Dick Grabbers ¹⁰⁸, ^{77 102}
Daughters of Christ
DGs go down faster than their anchors
Can’t spell “dog” without “dg”
Dick Garage ¹²
Daughters of God
Delta Glamour ²⁵
Damn Gorgeous ²⁵
Hot Damn Delta Gam ⁴³
Delta Grande ⁵¹
Discharge Guzzlers
Drama Gamma
Dyke girls ¹
Delta gorilla ³⁷
Drunk Girls ¹⁰²
Dumb Girls
Douch Gobblers
Ingrates ³⁸
Anchors pull them down to their knees ¹⁴
STDg ⁷⁷
Nothing goes down faster than an anchor
They go down faster than their anchor ⁷⁸
Dumped Girl
Dirty Gramma ¹²
Don’t waste your timma ¹²
Delta Gamarexic
Delta Drama ¹²
Daddy Gimme ⁹⁴
Dick Garages ²³
Dirty Gs ²⁵
Nothing Goes down quicker than an anchor
Delta Grab a Pi Kapp’s Dick ⁶⁹

Delta Delta Delta

Tri Delt…We Have!
If you can’t get a date by 8 try delt!
3d
Tri Delts, Everyone else has
Tri delt tried them all ¹¹
“Do the Dirty Dance”
Fly High on a Tridelts Thigh
Triple Nipples ²⁶
Tri Delt — Who hasn’t? ³⁰
3 times better with just one letter ¹²
Father, Son, Holy Ghost ⁴⁶
STD Slutty Tri Delts
If you can’t get laid, tri-Delt ²⁸
Dumb Dirty Dogs
Stepford Wives
Try delta, everyone else has ⁷²
Don’t try the others, try delt
Tri delt, or don’t try at all
Coke Snorters ⁷⁶
TriDelt Or Don’t Tri At All
Deltalicious ¹²
DDD-Cup Size ¹²
Fuck a DG, date a phi, marry a DDD ¹²
Have you “felta delta” ³
Darling Dancing Divas
Drug Dealing DramaQueen ⁵³
Can I help ya help ya help ya ⁹⁵
Tri Delta into Oblivion
Dogs, Dorks, and Dykes ¹²
TriDelta, Greek for TriUgly ¹²
Dorks, Dogs and Disease ¹²
Have you tried a tri-delt? ²⁸
Try Delta! Everybody else has… ¹⁰⁸
Life is better in 3D
Tri-Fecta of Doom ¹³

Delta Zeta

Easy DZs ²
Dog Zone
Date Zone
Drama Zeta
Discovery Zone
Diseases
Sleazy DZs
Daughters of Zio ¹¹
Daughters of Zion ³⁰
DZ Turtles once on their back their Fucked
Show ‘em the green, they show you the pink ⁹⁴
DZ, Do Me Please ²⁵
EZ-DZ ¹²⁵
Greek Goddesses
Daughters of Zeus ⁷⁰

Delta Phi Epsilon

Daddy Pays For Everything
The Dog Pound
Drama Phi Epsilon
Dogs, Pigs, and Elephants ²⁸
Reefer Deephers ¹¹
Delta Phi Hairsalon ¹¹
Donkey Fucked an Elephant ²⁸
D-Phi-Easy
Delta Fly Sexilon ¹²¹
Beefers
Deeper deephers
D Phi Sleez
Queefers ⁹⁸

Zeta Tau Alpha

Zits, Tits, and Ass ³⁵
Zeus the Almighty ⁴⁸
Zits, tits, & armpits
Zoo Trained Animals
Hold my crown while i go down ²⁵
Zoo Trained Animals
Queens of Greeks

Theta Kappa Chi

Theta kappa crazy ¹¹¹
Theta kappa line ¹¹¹

Kappa Alpha Theta

Thick theta ⁵⁷
Fat Kats ⁶²
Gotta Date-A Theta
Kappa All-Pathetic ⁶²
Katcha AIDS Then-Die-Ah ⁸³
Krappa Alfalfa Theta
I think I’d rather masturbata ³⁸
KAO KAO ITS OFF TO BED WE GO ⁶¹
Thetah Potatah
Kappa Overrated ⁴¹
KAT Kites And Trolls
Theta Grata Your Nerves ¹
Kappa Wanna Kill Them ⁸³
Can’t Get a Key? Go for a Kite.
Love to Lay-a Theta ²²
Pledge Theta? Forgeta!!!
Kappa Alpha Trolls ¹³

Kappa Delta

Keg Drainers ⁶
Killer Dogs ¹
Kampus Dogs ¹⁹, ¹⁰⁸
KD definetly not for me ³³
Kappa Dyke ³⁴
King’s Daughters ³⁰, ¹⁰⁸
Kampus drunks ⁵¹
KD Ladies
Fuck a Phi, date a DG, mary a KD
Kum Dumpsters ³⁸
Klans Daughters ⁸⁸
Katherine’s Daughters
Klan’s Dogs
Klan
Koke Dealers ⁵³
Kookies and Doughnuts ¹⁰⁸
Cracka Delta ⁸³
KD Cows ³³
Kitchen Deltas ⁶⁹

Kappa Kappa Gamma

Kappa Kappa Gucci
Visa Visa Mastercard ¹⁴
Katcha Katcha Gonorrhea
Kappa Kappa Grandma
Cutta Cutta Gramma ⁸
Daddy Daddy Please ⁹
Killa Killa Gorillas ²⁵
Ku Klux Girls
Kappa Kappa Gimmie ¹³
Krappa Krappa Cramma
kappa kappa Tiffany’s ¹⁸
Krispy Kream Grabbers ¹⁰
Kappa Half-a Gram-a ¹²
Quadruple Size Me ²³
Krispy Kream Kappa ²³
Keys to the Kingdom of God ³⁰
Kappa Kappa Slammin! ⁶³
Kappa Kappa Coke-ah
Krappa
Kappa Kappa Cow
Pi Phi n’ Theta Wannabes ¹
Kappa Kappa Cattle
Klappa Klappa Gonorrhea
Cocaine On a Key
Daddy Daddy Buy Me
Can’t be a DG? Settle for KKG
KKG- goes down on their knees
Can’t get a kite or arrow, #3 get a key
Kuppa Kuppa Granola ⁹¹
Klassy Klassy Girls ²⁵
Fuck a DPhiE, Date an ADPi, Marry a KappaFuc
Hot damn, Kappa Gamm
Cattle Cattle Comming
Kappa Kramma Cupcakes
KappaGam, Thank you, Ma’m
Kappa – Greek for “fat “
KKG Ugly
Greek for “Big Piggies “
Coke whores with keys
Koka koka whores on their knees
Greek for Makka Meaa Pukka
Katty Katty Goober
Killa Killa Godzilla
Kappa Keeping Eating
Kappa Kappa Gobble Gooble
Kkg always on their knees
Kappa Kappa Gorillas ²⁵
Krispy Kreme Gorillas ²⁵
Keepa Fatta Girls
Kappa Kappa Gross
Kappa Kappa Damma I pledged the wrong house
Kappa Kramma Gravy with a key
Kappa Notta Quota ¹³
Kappa Kappa Fugly
Kappa Sucka Cocka
King kong’s gootch
Krusty kootchie giants

Lambda Theta Alpha

Lonha Torta Nu ¹

Lambda Theta Nu

Lambda Theta Nalpha ¹

Pi Beta Phi

Makes the Cum Fly
Pry Open My Thighs ¹⁴
Shoot It In Her Eye
Pry Thighs
Plump but Pretty ⁵¹
Phi Beta Spread a Thigh ⁵⁵
Pi High (coke whores) ¹
Unzip your fly, here comes Pi Phi
Fuck a ADpi, date a DG, marry a pi phi
pi beta coke bitches
Pi Beta Fruit Fly ¹²
Pi Beta Rich Bitch
Pi Blonde Bitch ⁹¹
Pretty Blonde Prisses
Pi Beta Phi- Bitches till they Die
Pi Phi Princess
Pi Phi – Too Snobby to Even Try ⁹¹
Pi Beta Plastic
Pi Beta Preppy
Pi Beta Phine
Pi Beta Phi noses in the sky
Pi Beta Bulgari ¹
Pi Beta Cash ¹⁰⁰
Fry Burger Fry
Pi Beta Fat
Pi Beta Pretty
Pi Beta Phi, pleasing to the eye
All Gobble Dicks ⁸⁸
Pi Beta Billions
Pi Beta Perfect
Pi Make’m Cry
Daddy bought my wings ¹⁰⁰
Mile-Wide Thighs
Pi Beta WASP
Pi Beta Whitebread
Pi Beta Prissy
Pi Beta WASP
Pi Phis, Hi Hi “Daddy not Rich?” Bye Bye
Pi fat n ugly
Pretty Bitchy Phi
Pi Beta Popular
Pi Beta Priss
Pi Beta Whitebread
Pi Beta WASP
Pi Quota High
Pi “Not Rich?” Bye ⁹¹
Pi Better Than Thy ⁹¹
Pi Beta Pearls..and rings, and things Pi Beta BMW
Pike Whores
Pi Beta Udon’t Eat
Pi Buy Pearls
I Beta you get dropped
Pi Beta Beemer
Pi Beta Protestant ⁷⁷
Pi Beta Prim
I Beta “Precious? ⁸⁸

Sigma Gamma Rho

Sigma Gamma Ho ¹¹⁰

Sigma Delta Tau

Spend Daddies Trillions
Stumpy Dumpy Trolls
Can’t spell STD without Sigma Delta Tau
Seldom Dated Twice
Suck Don’t Talk
Slutty Daughters of the Torah
Sixty Dirty Twats ⁵⁴
Same Damn Tramps ⁸²
Slutty Dick Takers ⁸²
Sdt’s have std’s ⁹²
JAPs ¹¹⁴
Secret Daughters of the Torah

Sigma Kappa

Sigma Cattle ²³, ¹⁰²
Sigma Kattle ¹⁰²
Smegma crappa
St. Katherine ³¹
Salvation to the Kingdom
Single Koke Whore
Enigma Kappa
Sigma Krappa ¹²
Stupid Kunts ⁸²
You can’t spell skank without an SK ¹⁰³
Salvation thru the King
Servants of the King
Sisters of the King ³¹
Sisters in the Kingdom
Krispy Kreme Girls ¹⁰²
Slutty Kappa ⁹⁸
You can’t spell skank without an SK ⁶¹
Snakey K ⁸⁵

Sigma Sigma Sigma

Tri Pigs ⁶⁵
Try Sig everyone else has
Several Scorn Sisters
Rejected Sigma Kappa’s ³⁵
Sigma Kappa rejects!
Tri Nazi
Tri nig ¹³⁵
Tri stigma ¹³⁵

Phi Lambda Rho

Fuck Any Bro ¹

Phi Mu

Phi-mooo ¹⁰
Father Mark
Phi Mu, Phi Mu, it’s off to bed with you
I’d rather eat a Zeta than fuck a Phi Mu ³⁰ Rattle Rattle Here Comes the Cattle ¹³²

Phi Sigma Sigma

Phi Piggy Piggy
Phi Stickme Stickme
Fuck, Suck, Suck
Phi Slutma Slutma
Phi *SNIFF* *SNIFF* ¹¹⁹
Phi Sig Sucks a lot ⁹⁸
Phi Syphilis
phi syphilis syphilis ⁹⁸
Phi Singa Singa ⁹⁸

Chi Omega

Chi Ho’s
Order of Christ ¹
Chi O Chi O, its off to bed we go… ¹¹
Christ Omegas
Classy Chi-O’s
Cult omega ⁵¹
Cow Omega
Can eat U under the table!
Chi-o chi-o Chi-o I can blow ³⁵
My daddy’s rich and I’m a bitch, chi ho
Coffin Owners ¹⁹
Marry a chi-o ⁵¹ Chi Hoe’s ¹²⁶

Fraternities:

Alpha Delta Phi

Gay D P ⁵
Shady Phi
Alpha Douche ⁵⁴

Alpha Epsilon Pi

Apes
All Eat Penis
Gay E Pi ¹¹
A E Gay ¹¹
Always Eating Penis
AEPhags ¹¹
A-E Mazeltov! ²³

Alpha Kappa Lambda

All Kinds of Losers
Always Keep Losing
All Kampus Losers
A.K.Who? ⁶²
Awful Krappy Laya

Alpha Tau Omega

Asshole Training Organization
Sensitive guys with gigantic cocks ¹²
Gay T O
Can’t Spell “faggot” without ATO ²¹
ATO not the way to go ³³
Alpha Snow ¹⁰
Alpha to Omega ⁴⁵
Alpha Tool Omega ⁵³
Alcohol Omega
Never ever go ATO ⁸⁵
Beginning to End
All Windows Potato Gunned ²⁸
A-T-Polo ¹¹
A-T-M’s ¹¹
A T ZERO
A-T-Blow ³⁸
All together one
ATBro ⁶
AT Oh my god I joined the wrong fraternity! ¹²⁰
ATO-No means No!! ¹³⁰

Alpha Chi Rho

Alpha I’ma Hoe
Crows

Beta Theta Pi

Beta Rape-a-date-a ¹
Don’t Date a Beta
Beta Theta Wanna Rape Ya
Beta Date-a Guy ³⁰
Beta Theta ain’t got no Pie ⁸
Bully The Pledges ⁵⁹
Beta Date a Guy ⁵³
Mr. Nice Guys ⁷⁶
Beat off Eleven ⁸
Beta Theta Thug
Beta Date-a Rape-a
Bet I eat a Pi
Beta Who? ⁹⁷
Beta Theater Bi
Beta Theta Hate-a-Jew ²⁸
Beta Theta HIGH
Bake potatoe pie ⁹⁸
FIJI Rejects
Loser Beta’s
Beta Nerd
 

Gamma Beta

Gorgeous Boys ¹⁰⁰
Good Boys ¹⁰⁰
Gay Boys
Lambda Rejects
Fagga Beta
No Game-a Beta

Delta Kappa Epsilon

If you can’t go Greek, Go DKE ⁵⁴
Dick and Kunt Everywhere
Dicks ³⁸
Goat Fvckers ⁷⁴
You can’t spell “dickhead” without DKE ⁸¹
Delta Kappa Who? ¹²
Delta Krappa get me outta here
Dont Kiss ‘Em
If you ain’t DKE, you ain’t SHIT ²⁸
The Secrets ¹¹³
Delta Kappa Unda Grounda ¹¹³
MC Dekes ¹¹³

Delta Lambda Phi

Dick Loving Phags

Delta Sigma Phi

Delta Cigarettes
Delta Sigma Fags
Delta Sketch

Delta Tau Delta

Down Town Drunks
Dah Tee Dah ⁸
Down Town Daddies ⁸
Dorks ’til Death ¹⁶
Drink ‘Til Dawn
Deep Throat Dicks
Delta thug delta
Dudes Touching Dudes ²⁹
Dick to Dick
Dorks That Drink ⁵⁴
Dopes Taking Dope
Dicks Till Death ⁸⁰
Dicks Taste Delicious
Dot to Dots ²²

Delta Upsilon

Delta Oops I Joined the Wrong Fraternity
Delta Oops I Bid ²¹
Delta Ups ⁵²
Cant Spell Douschebag witout DU ⁵³
Can’t spell douche without DU ⁵³
Dumb and Useless ⁵³
Delta “ups” i lost my load ⁵³
Delta a bid to everyone on campus ⁵³
Douche Users ⁵³
Delta Oops I Burnt My House Down ¹²²
Delta “Oops I signed” ³²

Delta Chi

Eat A Guy
Felt-a-guy
We share our girls with all the guys! ⁸⁵
The Derivative House ²⁸

Delta Psi

Delta Spy ³⁸

Zeta Beta Tau

Zainey Bagel Throwers
Zero Bitches There
Zillions, Billions & Trillions ¹
Zero Babes Tonight ⁷
Zero, But Trying ⁷
Zion Bank and Trust
Zizzle Bizzle Tizzle ⁵⁰
Sweet Livin’ ⁵⁰
Zayin BaTahat (Hebrew for “dick in the ass”)
Your fave fraternity’s fave fraternity ⁵⁰
Zeroes Between the Thighs
ZBTerrible ¹¹

Zeta Psi

Zeta High ⁸¹
Zeta Psycho ⁸¹
ZTA guys ¹³⁵

Theta Delta Chi

Oaxaca ¹
Theta Drug ⁵⁴
Thumpty  ⁵⁴
Thick Dick Coercion ⁷⁸

Theta Xi

The Taxi ¹
Theta Hi ¹
They’re back! ⁴⁵
The Zoo ⁶⁴

Theta Chi

Date a guy ¹⁷, ²⁵, ⁴⁰
Ate-A Guy ⁵³
Date-a-guy in Theta Chi ¹¹
Kappa Sig Ruled your Mom Theta Chi fucks Guys ¹²⁵
Rather Die than be in Theta Chi
Date a guy ¹³²

Kappa Alpha

Kappa Kappa Kappa ¹⁰
The Kappa Alpha Disorder ¹¹
Knights of Alcohol ¹⁷
King Arthur
Gay A
Kill Africa
K-yAy ⁷⁸
Ku Klux Kappa Alpha ²²

Kappa Delta Rho

Kappa Dorka Rho
Kappa Date Rape ⁴⁰
You can’t spell DORK without KDR
Can’t Spell Drunk without KDR ³⁶
Shady-R ⁷⁰
GayDR ⁵⁴

Kappa Kappa Kappa

KKK ¹⁰⁵

Kappa Sigma

Kappa Sketch28
Kappa Scum
Kappa Sexy
Kappa Schwag ²¹
Pack A Cig ²³
Kock Suckers ²³
Kappa Shwig ²³
Squids
Squeeks ³⁹
K Sig ⁴³
Kappa Faggot ⁵⁸
Kap A Nig ³⁷
Kappa Slugga ²¹
Moids ⁷¹
Krappy Sigs ⁸⁶
King’s Sons
Tap a keg ⁹⁵
Kappa Pig ⁹⁵
Knights of Satan ²³
Coca Sig
Tappa Keg ⁹⁵
Kappa Swig ⁹⁵
Take a Swig ⁹⁵
COCKSUCKERS
Fag bags
Kappa Smegma
Klansmen’s sons ¹²⁹
Kappa nig ¹³⁵

Lambda Phi Epsilon

Lambda Phi Who Gives a Fuck ¹²
L phi E..you know

Lambda Chi

Ramda Guy ⁸
Lambda AlQueda ⁵³

Lambda Chi Alpha

Lambda Al Queida ⁵³
Rammed A Guy ⁵⁴
Lambda Bi
Lambda Chi Losers ⁹⁸
Lamb Chops ²⁸
Lame-da Chi

Pi Alpha Phi

Fruits
Pineapples

Pi Kappa Alpha

If fags you like, uh pledge pi ka ³³
Princes of King Authur ⁴⁷
Packers ⁴⁹
Pretty Boys ⁴⁹
Beat up pussy lovers ⁴⁹
Date Rape Druggers ⁴⁹
Pi Sucka My Alpha ⁴⁹
Fuckwads ⁵⁶
Fuckstains ⁵⁶
Packa-ass ⁵⁶
Worst Frat Ever ⁵⁶
Pi Kappa Anyone ⁶⁴¹²⁵
Steroids, Steroids, Steroids ⁶⁶
Sign your name.. your a brother ⁶⁷
Principles of King Arthur ⁹⁹
Kappa Sig Owns You
We lift our weights and rape our dates ⁸⁶
Big Gay K ²⁵
Pi Kapp Almost ⁹⁸
Fucktards ¹²⁵
Girls who like girls are dykes, boys who like boys are pike

Pi Kappa Phi

Pi Phi for boys ¹²
Pi Scraps ²¹
Pi Phis for guys
Kappa Sig Screwed your Grandma
Pi Whack ⁹⁸
Pi Phis For Guys
Pi Kock (3.14 inches) ¹⁰⁹
Puts Kocks in Pledges
Tools ⁵⁴
Fuckin’ Guy Phi ⁶
Pi Kappa Fag ⁹⁸
Queer Pack’o Guys
Pi Crap
Pi Fuck a Guy

Pi Lambda Phi

Penis Lovers ¹⁰
Pi Lame ¹¹

Sigma Alpha Epsilon

Same Assholes Everywhere ³⁰
Sleep And Eat
Sexual Assault Expected ¹⁵
Sigma Phi Gravity Bong ⁸
SAE – Somebody, Anybody, Everybody
Shady and Easy
Sons of Adam and Eve ²⁴
Standards above excellence ²⁷
Say Bro ¹²
Sex Above Everything
S – Gay – E ¹
Short Assholes Everywhere
Suck ALL Erections ⁶⁹
Sexually Ambiguous Entities
Snort almost everything ⁷²
Sigma Alpha Everyone ⁵⁴
Someone, Anyone, Everyone! ⁵⁴
Steroids and Estrogen ²
Sigma Alpha Al Qaeda ²³
Cheese ²³
Cheesers ²³
SAE = Stupid and Egotisical
Sons of A bitchEs
Are you a douche? Rush us, dude! ¹¹⁷
Sigma Ass Eaters ³⁰
Sigma Alpha Hairsalon ⁶⁴,¹

Sigma Alpha Mu

Single Asian Male ¹²
Somebody Accepted Me
Sigma Alpha Jew
Sigma Alpha Who?
Sammy I Gay ²⁸
Sigma Alpha Moo! ⁸⁶

Sigma Nu

Sigma No No
Sigma Nerds ³⁸
Saint Nicholas ³⁴
SigmaNure ³⁷
Fuckin Nuers ⁴²
Sigma Zoo ¹⁷
Sigma Who??
Sigma Nubs ⁸
Snoozers ⁸⁰
Sigma nuisance ⁹²
Kappa Sig’s Bitches
Snookum Ninjas
Sigma Douche
Sigma Nobody
Sigma Chunt ¹¹⁶
Nu Money ¹¹⁸
Sigma Who will ever come to our parties?

Sigma Pi

Girls Gone Bye ²³
Sigma Pissed I joined this frat ⁷⁵
Stigma Pi ⁷⁵
Snegma Pie ⁹⁰
Sigma Poor
Sigma No Money
Steak and Carrots
Shit Pi ¹
Sigma Lie ¹²³
Sigma High ¹²³
Sigma Why ¹²³

Sigma Tau Gamma

Super Tough Guys ²²
Sig Tool ⁸⁶
Sex To Give ⁹⁴
Squid tau ⁹⁶

Sigma Phi Epsilon

Sigma Phi Hair salon
Sigma Assrammers ⁴
Seldomly Dated Twice
Spenises
Sigma Phi Everyone ²⁰,¹¹⁵
Suckuh Faggots Epsilon ⁴
Squids ⁶⁸
Spik Ep ⁵³
The Tool House ⁵³
Sigma Fag Epsilon
Sigma Women ²⁶
The Women ²⁶
Women of SIGMA PHI EPSILON! ²⁶
Speeeeeee ⁴⁶
The Gayest Fraternity on Earth ²³
Sig-gay ⁹⁸
Sigma Fag Hair Salon ¹²⁴
Sign Phucking Everyone ³²

Sigma Chi

Sons of Christ
Fucking Machis
Sigmachees
Sigs
Sig machi ⁵¹
Sigma high ⁵¹
The Storks ⁵¹
Sig Machee ⁵¹
Orlando’s Gayest ¹¹
Sigma Coke
Cigs and Cocaine
Sig Heils
Sigma Who? ⁷⁴
Homo chi ⁸⁹
Mochi ⁸⁹
Moke ⁸⁹
Swigma Chi ⁹⁵
Eat X
Sig Nachos
Sucked-a-guy
Candy Chis ¹⁰¹
Candyass Chis ¹⁰¹
Sigma Die ³²
Fucked-A-Guy
Smegma Chi ⁸⁵
Sigma Cry ¹²²

Tau Kappa Epsilon

If you can’t go Greek, go Teke ¹⁰
Freek-a-Teek ³³
Not Tekes, GEEKS! ¹¹
Tau Kappa Everyone
Cool Tool Castle ⁵³
Teke it in the ass
TKE it in the ass ⁸⁴
Tappa Kegga Easy ⁵³
TKE’s aren’t Greeks! ⁸³
If you can’t go DKE, go TKE
If you can’t go Teke, go home ³³
Tau Kappa Drinks-a-lot ⁹⁸

Phi Alpha Gamma

The Fag ¹
Phag

Phi Gamma Delta

FeeeeeGeeeee
F1-J1 Experimental Fraternity
Who The Hell Cares ²³
FineGuys ²³
Fag-Gee
Phi Gamma Rapist ⁶²
Phi Gamma Butt Slamma ⁶⁶
Pot Heads ⁷⁶
Fight Gram ⁸
Phi Drama Delta ¹²
Squeegee
F1J1 Wouldn’t want to be one
Phi Gamma Douche-bag Beta Rejects
Just Nerds ⁹⁸
Phi Gamma DateRape ³²
FeeGay ¹²⁷
Fijinas
Phi gram ¹³⁵

Phi Delta Theta

Dry-Delt ¹⁷
Try Phi Delt if have a big belt ²³
High Delta ¹⁴
Phi Domino’s Pizza ⁸¹
Fidelt Douchebags ⁵³
Fag Delt
Phi-Dry  ⁵⁴
Phi High ⁸
Beta Theta Pi rejects ¹²⁸
Phi Del Castro ¹³¹

Phi Kappa Sigma

Phake Kappa Sigma

Phi Kappa Tau

Phi Tards
Phi Tool
Fine and Tall ⁶⁷
High Taus
Fellowship Knowledge Truth
Ta dau ¹²⁰

Phi Kappa Psi

Fee-Cee ²³, ⁴¹
Phi Psi Fuck-ups ¹⁴
Feces

Phi Sigma Kappa

Die Pig ¹⁰⁷

Chi Phi

Chi High
Chipsies ³⁸
How High?

Psi Upsilon

Psi Opps I pledged Psi Upsilon
Psi Oops I rushed the wrong frat ²⁸
Psi Who? ⁷⁴

Omega Sigma Tau

oooEoooEooo

ACACIA

A-gay-cia ⁹⁶
A-cock-ia ⁵⁴

Alpha Sigma Phi

Alpha nig ¹³²

Phi Theta Kappa

Phi Theta Krappa ⁷⁹

Legend