Anti-Hazing Douchebags

Posted on 28 November 2010

Also known as GDI’s, Anti-Hazing Douchebags are all those opposed to the sacred ritual of hazing a pledge’s balls off. Who would ever disagree with such time-honored tradition? But hey, we can always embark upon ropes courses, trust falls and pledge class dinners to build unity, right? Fuck no, that’s not an option. All those opposed to the manly essence that is pledgeship should stop wasting their time worrying about the frat life they’ll never be able to live. Don’t rain on our parade of alcohol, women and hazing, that’s just not cool.

There are countless websites out there that rival our sacred tradition of pledgeship. Don’t let the “Pledging Sucks” title lead you down the wrong path. The Brotherhood loves pledging, but yea, it fucking sucks. There’s definitely a difference between bitching and picketing. Anyways, let’s take a look at some of the classiest anti-hazing sites out there today. While all stand different in their own unique ways, they mutually share the title of an Anti-Hazing Douchebag website:

Incorporates a fascinating “Did You Know?” section that tallies the unluckiest pledging horror stories in history. Go fuck yourselves, you’re all just pessimists. Let’s look at the glass half full, shall we? Think about it, there’s like a 99.9% survival rate through pledgeship. That’s damn good!

– Has a classy slogan: “Educating to eliminate hazing.” Wow, it rhymes!

– Also has a Pro-hazing email section. Now that’s what I’m talking about.

44 states have laws against hazing. Yea… and 38 states banned marijuana. Let’s give credit to the rebels, shall we? 6 states understand the unity of pledgeship, and 12 states just wanna get stoned. Cheers to that.

The GDI Bill: Of course the anti-hazing douchebags do their best to prevent a quality bro from gaining an education. Let’s all just kick a guy in the nuts and take away his funding…

Federal Hazing Prohibition Act of 2003:

To amend the Higher Education Act of 1965 to withhold Federal student financial assistance from students who have engaged in hazing, and for other purposes. Oh yea, and they forgot to tell you that THIS BILL NEVER BECAME A LAW. The brotherhood always wins.

To sum it all up, those who join a frat know exactly what they’re getting into. They signed up, and they wanted it in the first place. The door is always open, and no pledge is asked to pull the trigger. All those opposed to the greatest unity tradition in history can go fuck themselves. Mind your own business, and we’ll mind ours. You’re not a mortar for a just cause, you’re merely an Anti-Hazing Douchebag.

It’s not hazing. It’s brotherhood.

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8 Responses to “Anti-Hazing Douchebags”

  1. PledgeMaster says:

    Comment all you’d like. If you’re feeling generous, submit a story for consideration. You’ll stay anonymous, and your story might end up as the next post of the PledgeMaster.

  2. Bro-Haters says:

    Fuck all GDIs. They hate on us for finding a way to bring a bunch of guys closer together.

  3. J. Brobert C says:

    Even though I fucking hate the GDIs who try and bro hate, they’re still kind of important to us. I mean without those fags, who are we going to ridicule at our parties? I mean they pay us for our watered down alcohol, and they beg to be reinvited to our frat parties again.

    Plus, when rival fraternities are too busy getting fucked up to try and fuck with us, GDIs are the best nerds to beat up all the time. Beating the shit out of those fags outside of their silly freshmen dorms is my favorite pastime.

    Basically: Rush and get paddled by a brother, or be a GDI and get your legs broken.

  4. Anonymous says:

    You guys are horrible people. Hazing doesn’t build brotherhood. It goes against all your fraternal values. Fuck you guys and when someone in your fraternity dies, enjoy prison.

  5. Anonymous says:

    Fuck hazing; fuck guys with dicks so small that they have to haze in order to feel more masculine. These Greeks are laughed at by 98% of students.

  6. BLAaA says:

    well us 2% get pussy.. smd

  7. AnonymousGDI says:

    Are you serious?
    I rushed a frat having been told that there would be no hazing involved.
    Not having any friends or family that were ever in a fraternity, I had no idea that hazing even existed in real life.
    Also, in my state hazing is illegal and it is also explicitly against school policy.
    So, to say that someone who is rushing a fraternity should expect hazing is totally wrong. I might’ve expected some paddling, but that’s not so bad. My pledging experience sucked, so that’s why I de-pledged!
    The only reason you Greeks do it is because it happened to you and because you have such poor character you feel the need to inflict suffering onto others. It’s pathetic.

  8. A physician and mother says:


    You stupid lil weinie washer. Educating to Eliminate Hazing ISN’T A FUCKING RHYME! Okay people readers….do you HONESTLY believe little Rhymer puke boy is gonna ever own his own bottle of beer much less an entire bar?!?!?!?! FRATERNITY PEOPLE ARE PERSONALITY DISORDERED MORONS!!!!!!!!!!!!!!! CHECK THE DSM5 FOR DIAGNOSTIC CRITERIA FOR CONDUCT DISORDER AND ANTISOCIAL PERSONALITY DISORDER. For you intelligent men and women who go to class SOBER and rested so you can actually read and write during class and eat healthy, go to the gym, go swimming or skiing…I am pretty damn sure THE GIRLS WILL WANT YOU and you will be able to get a party together! Fraternity boys RARELY go on for good lives. The activities one does with passion at age 20 will REMAIN THE SAME FOCUS OF ATTENTION… that means if a girl marries the most popular, off the hook frat guy on campus….she will be doomed to a life of quiet desperation that comes from having an alcoholic as a husband. The children of the sad marriage that starts out so delusional and out of touch with reality will develop their own personality disorders and become delusional little weinie sucking degraded pledges for pathetic jerkoff frats boys. They will victimize a drunk girl who then gets manipulated and becomes screwed up in the head too. YUCK! YOUR FRATCASTLES ARE NOTHING BUT PETRIE DISHES FOR THE CONTINUED MORAL DECAY OF WHAT WAS A ONCE GREAT AMERICA. I hope you all end up being initiated by the real badasses in prison.

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