Alcoholic Pledgeship

Posted on 10 October 2011

With the transition of high school to college comes the expectation of social survival. Your dorm room gets smaller and smaller by the day, all-the-while your social life dwindles. Once you’ve grown a sack and decided to #2 Rush, your alcoholic education begins. You’re not only joining a Brotherhood, you’re entering a semester long class of alcoholic consumption.

I don’t care how much of a #49 Future Frat-Star you were in high school, the amount of drinking you’ll endure within your four years of fraternal involvement will conquer all other feats. It’s a common joke that alumni return to the fraternity after a year of the real world, only to find out that they’ve become complete lightweights. Unfortunate, isn’t it? Either way, you’ll build up one hell of a tolerance during pledgeship, only to expand on it in the remainder of your college duration. If you had any lingering common questions about alcoholism, you probably would never ask them out loud.

Whether you sipped on Papa’s cognac every weekend, or arrived in college a virgin in more than one way, your alcoholic experience of pledgeship will push you to the limit, no matter your experience. Puking is a must, and if you don’t, you aren’t doing it right. There are endless reasons as to #41 Why We Haze. Liquor hazing is no exception. Pledgeship teaches you how to hold your liquor, know your limit, and handle yourself at all times. If I were a father (which I am not), I’d make sure my kid gets hammered atleast once before he goes to college. God forbid the first time he blacks out is during pledgeship in a frat house. I think you can all assume the worst.


Social Drinking

Pledgeship really does foster social growth. You learn how to drink for the first time in your life. I’m not talking about sipping on a beer. I’m talking about knowing the rules of the game. As much as we love to piss off the lightweights by throwing names around, it is what it is. If it takes you two beers to get drunk, then so be it. In all honesty, you’ll save a fuck-ton of money in your life. Good for you, Mr. Lightweight. Pledgeship involves drinking on a weekly, if not daily basis. The #25 Drunk Pledge knows what I’m talking about. You learn how to pace yourself at a party, and just how drunk you need to get to gain liquid courage in talking to that slampiece you’ve had your eye on.  You need to learn how to handle yourself at a bar. Nothing will piss the Brotherhood off more than a pledge getting kicked out of a bar for being too drunk. Get a grip, and learn how to drink. You’ll value these lessons when you’re drinking with your boss one night in the future.

Bartending School

Pledgeship is a glorified version of bartending school. You’ll learn how to mix and mash every drink known on earth. Even more so, you’ll learn what the cheapest beers and liquors are, and how to make a cheap drink taste like an expensive one. You’ll learn to make shots weaker for girls, and stronger for guys. You won’t get the credit for making a good drink, but you’ll sure as hell get punished for making a shitty one. By the end of pledgeship, you’ll have a decent portfolio of bartending skills underneath your belt. Whether it’s at a tailgate, social or in your room, pledges will know how to fix something up quick at the whim of the Brotherhood.

Popping the Cherry

While the points above are all fine and dandy, alcoholic pledgeships can be taken to the extreme. You’ll learn how to take a pull for the first time, along with shot-gunning and funneling a beer. You’ll do numerous keg-stands, and learn what a Jersey Turnkpike is the hard way. If you have an issue with anything described so far, go fuck yourself. Pledgeship and the Brotherhood just isn’t for you. If you’re down to party, check out CollegeBarStore.com to fulfill your alcoholic fantasies.

Of course everyone is always going to read about the pledges that were liquor hazed to the worst extent (i.e. #23 Top 10 Worst Hazing Scandals). I won’t support killing a pledge with liquor, but can we at least see the positive lessons the brotherhood was trying to instill? Maybe not…

In the end, your alcoholic pledgeship builds up a tolerance that even the jolliest Germans can’t imagine. As a piece of advice, being drunk is always a great excuse for doing something wrong. If the Brotherhood is fired up enough, you’ll never be punished for sipping on something sweet at the oddest hours of the day. Feel out your pledging experience as it goes and gauge the positives and negatives of getting drunk. You just might come to find that a semester-long blackout might be a blessing in disguise.

As always, the Brotherhood has your back. If you’re a pledge in need of some savings, or a brother in need of the cheapest shit out there, SaveOnBrew has you covered: You’ve got the zip code… We’ve got the beer deals. SaveOnBrew.com— like Google, for beer deals! 

 

It’s not hazing. It’s brotherhood.

 

 

 

 

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One Response to “Alcoholic Pledgeship”

  1. PledgeMaster says:

    It’s called societal drinking for the greater good. Welcome to pledgeship.


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